FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 05, 2014 |
Posted by: David Moffly
Last week's trawl of celebrity nudes was further testament to the fact that there is no such thing as privacy in the digital universe. Really — anyone that thinks anything on a smart phone, email or any web connected device is remotely private is hopelessly naïve. Google and Apple track every moment of every action you take on your phone. They know where you are. They know whether your phone is in your pocket or in your hand. They even know what you're doing — in great detail.You opt into all of this tracking when you activate your phone, BTW. All major email services have sophisticated algorithms that scan your photos for nudity and kick out suspected child pornography to special groups for analysis and potential forwarding to the Police.
The reality is that privacy and secrecy in the digital age are nothing more than well constructed myths. We are and always have been social beings whose first impulse is to share. Pictograms and hieroglyphics were the earliest social media. To be honest — I wish I was twenty-something and hot enough to want to take naked selfies to admire and/or circulate.
What was missing from last weeks' trove of naughtiness were photos of any musical elite. Where were the snaps of all our favorite musical leading ladies in the buff? I'm lookin' at you Miley. There were threats, and a few alleged fakes, but ultimately there were none. Are musicians smarter about their privacy than celebs?
The answer is of course no; we see more naked rockers so it really isn't that special anymore. I don't think we want to see anymore of Lady Gaga nude. She is lovely but, like, another booby pic? Next. Madonna took diva porn to high art back in the pre-internet days of 1992 with her coffee table book "Sex", and on her recent 55th birthday she instagrammed a nudie of her younger hotter self for all of us to have a bit of nostalgia. Janet Jackson's naked breast from the stage of the Superbowl halftime is burned into our collective consciousness. Rockers long ago put sex out on the table as the selling point. Ed Sullivan wouldn't shoot Elvis below the waist because it was too sexually suggestive. Elvis the legend was built on this. Mick Jagger's bantam swagger made a generation of women week in the knees, and paved the way to his brood of seven or so children.
So let's all get over ourselves on this. We love Jennifer Lawrence a little more — if that's even possible, and Kate Upton proves to us why she's making millions of dollars in front of the camera. Granted, Justin Verlander is probably taking some major ribbing in the locker room from his the team for his shower pics, but to be fair they now know exactly what he's going home to. At the end of the day we're all talking about these celebrities, which — privacy be damned — is always good for business.