• TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 20, 2016

    • Posted by: Kirsten Spruch

    The breaking news is all over the internet: Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt - the greatest couple on earth - have filed for divorce. Seriously, if you haven't heard about this yet, we're convinced that you purposely go out of your way to avoid only the biggest moments in pop culture like, ever.

    No but seriously, this is us right now...

    Apparently Jolie filed for divorce because she "became 'fed up' with Brad's consumption of weed and possibly alcohol, and mixed with what she believes is 'an anger problem' ... felt it became dangerous for the children". Ha... Sounds like Brad is living it uppp!!! Hey man, he's just trying to have a good time!

    Just kidding. We do not support any child abuse. Man, did this get dark fast or what? It's been a long day... Anyway, it's official. They have broken up. So now what? Well we can't just stand there and take it. It's time to MOURN, people. And how do we mourn and get over a breakup? With breakup songs!

    1. Carly Rae Jepsen - "Fever"

    This is a list of breakup songs. You KNOW Carly Rae is going to make the cut. "You wanna break my heart? Alright / You want a brand new start? Alright." Pretty sure that's exactly how the pre-divorce convo went down with Brad and Angie.

    2. Birdy - "Take My Heart"

    A romance that was once so warm is now so chilly... "And now I can't find how to let you go / You were mine but you've grown so cold."

    3. Charlie Puth - "We Don't Talk To Anymore" ft. Selena Gomez

    The title speaks for itself for this one.

    4. Shawn Mendes - "Stitches"

    This is one of the best - if not the best - breakup songs of all time. It's kind of danceable and hopeful so you can dance while you're crying (are you picturing someone dancing and crying at the same time? If not, picture it now. It's hilarious).

    5. Justin Bieber - "Love Yourself"

    What's with all these teeny-bopper boys having amazing breakup anthems? Is it because they're always pissing people off? This is an angrier song... Do you think Brad is singing this to Angie or is Angie singing this to Brad?

    6. P!nk - "Family Portrait"

    This one's for Brangelina's children who are probably going through some shit, too...

    7. Gotye - "Somebody That I Used To Know"

    I take back what I said about Shawn Mendes. THIS is the best breakup song of all time.

    8. Beyonce - "Hold Up"

    Um, Beyonce only made an entire visual album that was all about potential divorce and betrayal. How can we not include this slice of perfection?

    9. Adele - "Someone Like You"

    ...And did you really think we weren't going to include Adele, Queen of Broken Hearts? Angie and Brad - hang in there. Adele's coming for ya.

    10. Demi Lovato - "Stone Cold"

    This song just sounds like straight up sadness... Brb, sobbing.

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