Anthony Scaramucci Would Have Been A Great Rock Star
    • MONDAY, AUGUST 07, 2017

    • Posted by: Jon Hopper

    The most outrageous name that never made it big in showbusiness, Anthony Scaramucci led D.C. on one wild, unhinged thrill ride over the six days that he was White House Communications Director. Now you're probably thinking, "what could I possibly say about Scaramucci that would be redeeming?". Well the truth is not much, if you look at him as someone in a very high public office like the White House. But, I think the heart of the issue is that ‘The Mooch' just never found his true calling. Rock and Roll.

    It's well known that the eras of badass axemen and glamorous arena rockers, the eras he grew up in, had no shortage of jokers, harlequins, and generally hot-headed big shots who would never have fit in anywhere else but on stage and in the green room. Polarizing figures like Ozzy Osbourne, Axl Rose, and Mick Jagger were beloved entertainers (okay, maybe on the Axl Rose bit) who captured the hearts and minds of millions of fans with their music and performances, but for all their talents and character, would never have made good politicians. Ozzy literally bit the head off of a live dove and people still love him. Everyone in that industry was crazy in some way or another; even the record producers, the shady promoters, and especially the band managers had their fair share of hardcore sociopaths in the age of rock and roll.

    Now that isn't to say Scaramucci is necessarily a ‘sociopath', but anyone will agree that his social awareness skills are definitely in need of some work. The point is that rock and roll was a business where no one cared if you had a temper, or a foul mouth, as long as you were famous or interesting enough. In fact, those types of characters were coveted! Bad boys, trouble-makers, rabble-rousers, and crowd-surfers were the marketable image, and that also meant characters who had a less-than-functioning filter. It generated press, built image, added to someone's notoriety, and if nothing else has come of the last ten days, for better or worse, everyone now knows the name ‘Anthony Scaramucci'.

    Honestly, I think the fact that he had the guts to say what he did about Steve Bannon to a New Yorker reporter is pretty admirable. I know that sounds bad but, let's be real here, we were all thinking it in some fashion or another (albeit less vividly perhaps). That statement alone became an immediately famous watermark on the unfolding chronicles of Donald Trump's entropic Presidency. But firing shots like that is old hat for inflated and unpredictable rock stars; feuds and vulgarity still get thrown around like bottle rockets in the music industry today, let alone back in the 70s. If you look at any of some of the biggest names in music over the last fifty years, you'll find vendettas of all kinds. The Eagles literally hated each other. Lou Reed hates everyone. Keith Richards even wrote that Mick Jagger "has enormous balls, but it doesn't quite fill the gap", ‘it' being his penis. The Mooch would be right at home in a slugfest like that!

    The real tragedy of Anthony Scaramucci is that he just took the wrong path in life. He missed an opportunity to access his untapped potential as an entertainer, and really shine in an area that he might actually persevere in. I mean, look at the man! He's got a memorable, even charming face that's made for the spotlight and a snappy voice that sparks fires everywhere you hear it. In another life, rather than being under the scrutiny of political office, The Mooch might have been a flawed celebrity shredding a six-string with Foreigner, or fronting for his own electrifying glam metal band with long, flowing, Italian locks. Instead of hurling insults and sparking controversies in the White House, he could have been doing it on stage and gotten all the more famous for it. If not a performer, I can see him being (if a little shady) a very effective Peter Grant style band manager.

    Who knows? Maybe it isn't too late to start.

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