• WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 03, 2016

    • Posted by: Robert Steiner

    It's that time of the week again, folks! Take a break from the world-changing stories that actually matter (YAWN) and instead check in on the tastemakers and entertainment geniuses that have latched onto our collective minds like a parasite and refuse to let go until they reach 100 million Instagram followers. You never know when you'll need to mindlessly spew the latest gossip and fads to your besties, so it's good to be prepared for anything that comes your way. Here are the JUCIEST celeb stories from this week:

    Vanilla Ice DOESNT Keep It Cool in Airport Meltdown #ouch #iceicebaby #Deltasucks

    Life is truly full of surprises, folks. Sometimes, when you least expect it, something will come out of nowhere and defy all odds and expectations, finding a way to exist when it has absolutely no reason to. Vanilla Ice's career is a good example of this miracle: One rip-off of Queen and a song about Ninja Turtles later, Robert Van Winkle still manages to grab headlines in the celeb news cycle 20+ years later. This time, a video has surfaced of Ice going off on Delta Airlines employees after missing a flight from Atlanta, Georgia to Nebraska. In the video, the famed rapper irately tells the Delta workers, "No one said final call, nothing. Ive been right there. Theres a fricking line right here. Im thinking all these people are in line to board, Im behind them right there." Ice apologized on Twitter following the incident, and all was forgiven. Although personally I would have been angrier if I did make the flight to Nebraska (Ily Nebraska readers).

    T-Swift's "Famous" Nightmare Continues!!! #LeaveTayloralone #savage #maybeitskarma?

    Aaaaaand welcome back to our beloved recurring segment: Who's Shitting On Taylor Swift Today? (*please clap*) First up, we have part-time singer/full-time obnoxious twerp Justin Bieber declaring his allegiance to #teamKimye as the celeb war of the year rages on. In a recent Instagram post, the Canadian superstar took a screenshot of a FaceTime between him and Kanye West with the caption, "Taylor swift what up." Since Taylor's PR nightmare is still grabbing headlines, and because the Internet still likes to jerk off Bieber's ego for some reason, the post blew up, with close to 2 million likes as of this post.

    Meanwhile, we have pop music icon Britney Spears taking a more indirect jab T-Swift, in that she totally forgot that she had met her...twice. In a recent phone interview on Australia's Kyle & Jackie O Show, Spears claimed she had never met Swift, but because the Internet never forgets, fans were quick to point out that Spears did indeed meet Swift, first at a concert in 2003 and then at the 2008 VMAs. Spears very likely intended no bad blood (pun very much intended), but her memory slip sure isn't doing Swift's current reputation any favors.

    Hopefully the onslaught of Swift-bashing will simmer down soon, but seeing as hating on Swift is the trendiest celebrity pastime since leaked nudes, it probably won't. TUNE IN NEXT WEEK TO FIND OUT!!!

    Mailia Obama CAUGHT Being a TEENAGE GIRL @ Lollapalooza!!! #OMGGGGG #shocker #storyofthecentury #ThanksObama

    Last weekend, we saw a truly special gathering of headlining musical acts, massive crowds, and young, hippie-dippy millennials. I am of course talking about the Democratic National Convention in Philadelphia, but many were shocked by the news that President Barack Obama's oldest daughter, Malia, skipped out the event for Lollapalooza, the massive music festival in Chicago that took place the same time as the convention. To add fuel to the fire, videos have surfaced of the President's daughter twerking and provocatively dancing with friends during the festival. A TEENAGER doing TEENAGE things and HANGING OUT WITH FRIENDS!!!?!!?! This is UNACCEPTABLE. SIMPLY AN OUTRAGE. The President's daughter acting her age is CLEAR AND DEFINITIVE proof that the world is going to hell in a hand basket. Whatll be next??? The ocean contains water? The world is actually round? The sky IS blue????? Get your shotguns and adult diapers, people, because doomsday is upon us.

    Kanye West LOVES Being Kanye West #noeffingway #WOAH #KanyelovesKanye #whyisthisnews #seriouslyisanyonesurprisedbythis

    In another shocking turn of events, the Patron Saint of Swelled Heads, also known as Kanye West, is grabbing peoples' attention for being Kanye West. In a recent interview with Annie Mack on BBC Radio 1, Kanye discussed how great Kanye is, how Kanye wants to run for president in 2020, Kanye's desire to work with Ikea, how society stops Kanye from doing Kanye, and also how much Kanye loves Kanye. In a surprisingly modest point in the interview, Kanye did talk about how Kanye was nervous during Kanye's Glastronbury performance in 2015 due to an unexpected glitch in the music. Those few minutes of humility should cover Kanye for at least the next 15 years, so now Kanye can continue focusing on being Kanye. Listen to the full interview with Kanye below to learn more about Kanye than you even thought possible. Kanye.


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