If you haven't seen Corey Feldman's "Ascension Millennium" music video, you're probably doing something right. The former Lost Boy's random musical excursion features himself parading around a mansion dressed like Michael Jackson. But the mind-numbing robotic music isn't even the strangest part of the video.
Sure, there's an awkward homage to The Goonies
with Sean Astin, and there are even angels in lingerie, but what's with the random ad placement? There are so many 'NEON Energy Drink' tents surrounding the pool, that there's hardly enough room to pool! After doing a little investigating, aka 'Googling', we found out that NEON is a good ole' fashioned pyramid scheme. First, watch the video.
Wow. That was great. But let's get back to the matter at hand, energy drink pushers...
Not sure if anyone else has em, but I had a few hometown friends that fell into similar, high-octane canned beverage shenanigans. The first sign that your buddy has fallen victim of a pyramid scheme: denial that it's a pyramid scheme.
According to our findings, NEON is a part of parent company, Altairia International
. The mission:
We started Altairia to unite today's generations and create a foundation for the future by establishing a lucrative financial opportunity for all.
Hmm. This brings us to the second identifying feature of a pyramid scheme: snappy industry jargon that confuses and entices. From the Altairia site...
Three words: SPACE. TRAVEL. AWARDS.
We can't be certain Feldman himself is the caffinated crazy, maybe it's the weird kid in front of the sign with the bedazzled vest. But someone has a Galactic Gold Mileage Plus membership card. Alright, screw it. Sign us up. Take us to the moon NEON!