• WEDNESDAY, JULY 20, 2016

    • Posted by: Robert Steiner

    In a week filled with massive political events and world-shaking revolutions, have you wondered what's really happening in the world? You know, the important things happening to your favorite reality/pop/fashion/Instagram star, or what new hell-bending Twitter beef has started between two B-to-C-list celebs? Well, for those who like to stay informed about what's going on in Tinsletown, we give you the biggest stories of the week that you can mindlessly spew to your besties and make you feel better about your own spectacularly uninspiring life.

    Macaulay Culkin's Pizza Underground Prepping Highly Anticipated Debut Album #yaas #dreams

    Former child star and Home Alone sensation Macaulay Culkin has resurrected his stoner fever-dream, The Pizza Underground, a Velvet Underground tribute band that makes their songs all about... you guessed it, pizza! Who can forget such timeless classics like "Pizza Day," "All Pizza Parties," and "Take A Bite of the Wild Slice"? The audience at the band's 2014 concert at the Dot to Dot Festival certainly can't, as they booed the band offstage after 15 minutes, rudely interrupting Culkin's impeccable kazoo solo with a beer can to the face. Culkin promises the upcoming classic will feature a children's choir and a symphony orchestra, saying the album will be "a gift to the world." Be on the lookout for this pizza-themed masterpiece, which is guaranteed to not be a complete waste of time and disc space.

    90s Kidz Rejoice: 98 Degrees and *NSYNC's Joey Fatone Team Up, Become Relevant Again for 12 Seconds #90skidzforever #teamJoey #whoarethesepeople

    The world would have blown up if it was 1998 recently, because superstar boy-bands (or are they man-bands at this point?) 98 Degrees invited former *NSYNC member Joey Fatone onstage to perform his group's massive hit, "Bye Bye Bye." For those who are too young to know/care, *NSYNC was that one group with Justin Timberlake and four other guys, and 98 Degrees is like *NSYNC but with less Justin Timberlake. This collaboration last weekend delighted the groups' fans everywhere for a few minutes, made them think "Man, *NYSNC was so great... I wonder what Justin Timberlake is up to?" and get preoccupied in Justin's newest smash hit for the summer, "Cant Stop the Feeling," from the Trolls movie soundtrack. Trolls, starring Timberlake and Anna Kendrick, is out November 4... wait, what were we talking about?

    Justin Bieber Is an Asshole, to ABSOLUTELY EVERYONE'S SURPRISE #whaaaaaat #smh #Istillloveyoujustin

    In a breaking news story that is the most important thing you will read this week, the always-likable Justin Bieber rejected a hug from a fan recently, simply telling the open-armed fan "no" before walking away. This event adds to a series of recent run-ins with fans from the "Baby" singer, such as an incident where he rejected a fan's "shit" gift onstage last week and another incident where he threw a fan's gift out the window of his car. This news clearly shows the pop star is under great emotional stress or turmoil at the moment, because he has never proven to be such a precocious little prick in the past. Nope, not one time. Can't think of any... single... instance.

    Taylor Swift and the Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Week #badblood #dontmesswithKimye #RIPTayTay #artisalie #byyyeeeee

    It's been a rough ride for everyone's favorite dream ex-girlfriend, Taylor Swift. Fresh from last week's drama surrounding her and ex-bae Calvin Harris, Swift now finds herself against Ego 1 and Ego 2, otherwise known as Kim Kardashian and Kanye West.

    For those who aren't informed, West called out Swift on his recent song "Famous" with the lyrics, "I feel like me and Taylor might still have sex / Why? I made that bitch famous," to which Swift claimed was done without permission. Both West and Kardashian claim that West personally ran the lyrics by Swift, and now Kardashian, despite threats from Swift's legal team, has posted a video on Snapchat that shows Swift seemingly approving the lyrics over the phone. This series of events has launched the Internet into an all-out war, with one side praising Kimye for finally destroying Swift's fake "good girl" image and the other side defending Swift and saying West had not included the line calling her a bitch. Initially, it seemed that Swift had enough grounds to take legal action, assuming West was in California at the time of the phone call, as it's illegal in the state to record a phone conversation without the consent of both parties. However, it now seems less likely Swift has a case, as the law contains a loophole where it is legal to record an overheard conversation if both parties know they're being overheard. Going by the video, Swift seems to realize there are other people listening in on the conversation, but her legal team has still expressed taking legal action.

    Is Swift the victim to Kimye's wrath, is her well-manipulated PR web finally unraveling, or is she finding new material to write about for her next record? The answers remain unclear for now, but we will update the unfolded drama in the name of good press and contractual obligations.

    © 2020 Baeble Media. All rights reserved.