are sometimes referred to as "the bad boys of Boston" according to their hilarious opening Wikipedia paragraph, or more usually for children under thirty, the guys who 'star' in the Rock 'n' Roller Coaster at MGM Studios in Disney World. Steven Tyler may be the father of the most beautiful elf in all of Middle Earth, and the voice behind countless hits, but that doesn't excuse him from the geezer label. These days, nothing does. When you're old, you're old.
The current myriad of generational acts releasing new music to play in between the hits at their bloated stadium engagements is admirable, if not somewhat misguided. At least The Rolling Stones knew when to quit trying to make something new. Tyler and the 'Smith also join the ranks of inflated stars premiering new songs with the most unfortunately effective vehicle for promotion these days -- singing competitions on television. Thus a bunch of grandpas playing dress up got to 'rock' their new single "Legendary Child" to an audience of millions via American Idol
(a vehicle Tyler also pilots, occasionally, although less entertainingly than his predecessor Simon Cowell), and although we've never heard it, we're betting plenty of you have.
There's a very theatrical video to go along with the tune (no duh), and it features dim lighting, scarves, and the chick from Spy Kids pretending to roller blade while her stunt double does all the work. Metaphors inside metaphors!
The humor and the main "Legendary Child" refrain are both pretty OK! But that's about it for the potential accolades here. Tyler's voice has seen quite a bit of erosion, evident even in a polished studio recording. And Steven Tyler's face is on par with some of the Real Housewives of New York City, as in, he probably has to hand crank the back of his head when he wakes up in the morning just to keep his face from falling off.
To be continued... ?
Their new album Music From Another Dimension!
is out 11/6.