1. Jerry Seinfeld denies Kesha a hug in the most Jerry way possible.
We've all been in that weird situation where someone goes in for a hug we don't want to reciprocate. Usually I just suck it up and hug back anyway because that's way less awkward than refusing it, right? Well no, according to Jerry Seinfeld who did just that on the red carpet for the National Night of Laughter and Song event at the Kennedy Center. While he was being interviewed by Tommy McFly of DC's 94.7 Fresh FM, pop singer Kesha came up and requested a hug not once but multiple times, which he then denied multiple times.
Why did he deny the hug? It wasn't because he didn't like her or because she smelt like cheese, but he just didn't know who she was (which confuses me because hasn't he heard of "Tik Tok"?). Looks like Jerry won't be singing "Your Love Is My Drug" any time soon, because he is not an animal. All I know is that this would make a great plot for a new Seinfeld
episode. Please bring back Seinfeld
2. Rihanna fires back at the body-shamers.
I know this is a sensitive subject, which is why I almost didn't write about it, but don't worry. There's a happy ending. Last week, Barstool Sports
writer Chris Spagnuolo wrote a piece which has been deleted titled "Is Rihanna Going To Make Being Fat The Hot New Trend?"
And you can see why it's a ridiculous piece from the headline alone. Of course there are so many things wrong with this, the main one being that BAD GAL RIRI IS HOT AF, but what else can you expect from a bro sports site that posts shit like this
. According to Dlisted
, Chris said that "Rihanna looked like she was wearing a sumo suit, and hoped that her new look would inspire hot girls to ‘look like the humans in ‘Wall-E.'"
Naturally, fans freaked out and Chris claimed that RiRi fans were cyberbullying him, the cyberbully. He got suspended and the founder posted a statement
explaining why, although the reason ends up being that Chris' post wasn't funny enough.
But remember how I said this story has a happy ending? Here comes the good part. We got so caught up in defending Rihanna that we completely forgot who she is: a cool gal who lets the bad comments roll right off. You don't want to mess with her because she will fire back with nothing but greatness: like a Gucci Mane meme.
I know I'd kill to look like Rihanna during any of her phases. Not that she has ever looked anything like 2007 Gucci Mane. Her bright red hair phase in 2011 was a personal favorite.
3. Kendrick Lamar means it when he says be "HUMBLE."
One of the reasons why I love Kendrick Lamar so much is because of how authentic he is. We are all well acquainted with his single "HUMBLE
." by now, and he wants you to know he means it when he says "sit down." He even stays steady with these morals with his family. His sister Kayla Duckworth's high school graduation recently rolled around the corner and you know what he got her? A Toyota.
I know nothing about cars. You could start playing Will Smith's "Cruisin'"
and I'd have no idea what's going on -- I'd just be lost in a state of confusion. However what I do know is that a Porsche is better than a Toyota, and that Kendrick can definitely afford one of those. In fact, he can afford several of those. I know that and more importantly the internet knows that, and we are all familiar with the internet's tendency to turn a good thing into a bad thing. When Kayla shared the gift on Instagram, people started calling Kendrick out for being cheap.
Kendrick was criticized for something similar to this back in 2014 too. Yes, "Kendrick Lamar Buys Modestly Priced Home Outside of L.A."
actually made the news, and that is the most underwhelming headline I have ever read. So he doesn't want to blow all of his money. He's probably spending it on more important things like high budget music videos and, uh, health insurance. I know if I had all of that money I'd do that too. Or I'd spend it all on candy. Yeah, probably candy. *Imagines entire home made up of Sour Patch Kids and marshmallows*.