There is perhaps no greater purveyor of cliche 90s vocal affectation -- also think Darius Rucker of Hootie [Ed. Note: You watch your mouth when you talk about Hootie.] -- than Scott Stapp, frontman of Creed
. Watch the karaoke scene
for an ode to this classic idiosyncrasy, or attend a party where "Higher" comes on for passionate, inebriated reproductions.
Whether you like them or not, Creed were icons in the 90s, spearheading the 'epic bro-rock' movement [Ed. Note: I'm pretty sure that should be a capital offense.] and giving groups of dudes a soundtrack for vagina-less get-togethers. I participated in a few of said gatherings back in my day, and I'll still belligerently pantomime a sold-out Creed MSG show as Scott Stapp if "With Arms Wide Open" comes on the radio -- yes, even if I'm driving.
Like most aging rockstars, however, Stapp has entered the unfortunate years of his career, abandoning his signature shoulder-length locks and embracing a textbook dad-bod [Ed. Note: I think dadbod is a concept that we should ban from Baeble.]. He's been making headlines since the early 2000's for all manner of bizarre episodes
including claims of national security breaches and threats against Barack Obama's life, but no past transgression of his compares to the latest. Stapp and his estranged wife, Miss New York USA 2004, Jaclyn, will be appearing on VH1's sixth season of Couples Therapy
. Welcome to the Hall Of Shame, Scott.
There is an eleventh commandment that most people don't know about: "Thou Shalt Not Participate In Reality Television." It's the most important of the legendary tenets and should be adhered to strictly, unless of course you're The Miz and you end up with a WWE contract. It's safe to assume, however, that Scott Stapp will not leave Couples Therapy
with a deal from Vince McMahon -- if he did, his finisher would be "The Last Stapper," in which he floats across the ring like Christ and knee drops his defeated opponent amidst aggressive pyrotechnics.
It always comes down to the money, though. I'm sure that both Scott and Jaclyn are in somewhat dire financial straits, and that this opportunity is a Godsend for them. I don't know the going rate for selling your soul on reality T.V., but it's probably pretty high. And at least they'll be in good company. The previous season's cast included such illustrious former stars as elder stateswoman of porn, Jenna Jameson, Spanish-name having bachelor, Juan Pablo, and Teen-Mom-turned-home-movie-star Farrah Abraham. For some context, watch DMX engage in respectful conversation during his season below.
The producers definitely knew what they were doing when they booked Stapp. These shows thrive off of the wacky antics of their often psychotic participants, and the Creed frontman has a long rap-sheet in this department. He's claimed to have discovered the inner workings of ISIS within his family, and that his band mates wanted him dead so that they could collect royalties from his martyrdom ala Kurt Cobain, just to name a few. This is serious stuff, and at the end of the day I really hope that Scott eventually finds peace, but you can't help but see the humor in these ridiculous outbursts.
I will watch at least one episode of this season of Couples Therapy
. Hip-hop elder statesman Joe Budden is also reportedly participating in the show, and I can only hope to witness late night, alcohol-fueled musical collaborations between he and Stapp. Rappers spitting verses was all that Creed's music was ever lacking, anyway. All jokes aside, however, I was and still am a Creed fan. Scott Stapp is clearly a crazy-ass motherfucker, and potentially dangerous to the rest his soon-to-be cast members, but that doesn't take away from his contributions to the 90's rock scene. Hopefully VH1's Dr. Jenn can provide he and his wife with the help that they need, and hopefully it makes for really great American T.V.
Check out some golden-era Creed below.