Sometimes I find myself going down weird internet holes that seemingly have no beginning and end. These lengthy bouts of procrastination often, somehow, lead to me watching YouTube compilations of my favorite artists being silly. Or being hilariously blunt. Or just being hilarious in general (you get the point).
Anyway, this almost always feels like a giant waste of time, so I thought I'd make something out of it with this piece. This is my brief list of hilarious moments when some of my favorite artists just stopped giving a damn.
I hope you enjoy this gigantic waste of your time!
1. Trent Reznor - "Steal It!"
Back in 2007, Trent Reznor wasn't too happy about the absurd prices for Nine Inch Nails
CDs. In fact, he was… well, let's just say he was livid. He eventually complained about it (rather aggressively) during a live performance in Sydney, which only led to more tension between him and his record label. "My record label all around the world hates me, because I yelled at them," he said when he eventually came back to Sydney, after finding that the price hadn't come down at all. Now, most artists would probably take this as a sign that they should back off for the sake of their careers… but not Reznor. He literally told the crowd to pirate his new album. "Well, you know what that means," he went on, "Steal it! Steal away. Steal and steal and steal some more and give it to all your friends and keep on stealing."
Now that'll send a message. Watch the full speech above (warning: lots of explicit language).
2. Dave Grohl Goes Solo?!
Shortly after Dave Grohl's mesmerizing performance of "Blackbird" at the Oscars last year, rumors began to swirl that the Foo Fighters
were breaking up… for some reason, I'm not really sure. Maybe there were valid reasons why people thought this would actually happen, but either way, the Foo Fighters obviously weren't breaking up. The group poked fun at these rumors with this video of Dave Grohl beginning his nonexistent solo career, which would have featured chart-topping singles like "Phoney Baloney" and "Free to Be Me" (all played with just one finger!).
The video ends with a blunt message: "FOR THE MILLIONTH TIME, WE'RE NOT BREAKING UP. AND NOBODY'S GOING F*CKING SOLO!"
You know, in case it wasn't clear already.
(Warning: explicit language… again).
3. Bob Dylan Plays With Words
Way back in the day, Bob Dylan
came across these completely innocuous shop signs and used it as an opportunity to do… well, this. He's basically just taking the words on the signs and scrambling them up, until he comes up with poetic results like these:
"I want a dog that's gonna collect and clip my bath, return my cigarette, and give tobacco to my animals, and give my birds a commission."
"I'm looking for a place to bathe my bird, buy my dog, collect my clip, sell me cigarettes, and commission my bath."
The best part is how excited he gets with each new nonsensical word salad. The guy's nearly jumping in the air, and laughing like a maniac.
(Warning: explicit la-.... actually... this one's totally fine)
4. Father John Misty is an Expert in the Culinary Arts…
...ok, not really.
Father John Misty
, AKA Josh Tillman, is the king of not taking himself too seriously. In this segment with Weird Vibes, he takes us on a "culinary adventure deep into the heart of traditional Spanish cooking." Of course, he knows nothing about traditional Spanish cooking.
But he does give you some helpful Spanish tips! Have no fear, fellow students who have yet to pass Spanish 101, when you're taking your next quiz and can't remember what the Spanish word for "pizza" is, just remember this snippet from Josh Tillman's soaring rhetoric: "Little known fact: ‘telepizza' is Spanish… for ‘pizza.'"
Just kidding, please don't.
5. This Entire Compilation of Silly Jack White Moments
I've watched this video too many times and I can't justify it to myself any longer. It's hilarious, but in that weird way that finds you eventually showing it to your friends ("See? It's funny!") only to have them stare at you, totally bewildered and no longer having faith in your sense of humor.
Whatever, I still think it's funny. We get Jack
and Meg's take on the stock market ("Sometimes it's up, and sometimes it's down… really exciting either way it goes"), a back-and-forth exchange with an interviewer (Interviewer: "What are your favorite cities?" Jack: "Where are you from?" Interviewer: "Los Angeles." Jack: "That's my favorite."), and even a shaving lesson!
Needless to say, it's a varied adventure of epic proportions.
If you liked that enough to want more ridiculous Jack White moments, there's also this video that I watched over and over again back in the day (I had a lot of free time in high school).