WTF WEEKLY: Lorde's New Best Friend + More
    • THURSDAY, JUNE 01, 2017

    • Posted by: Kirsten Spruch

    1. Father John Misty did an interview with GQ and although he didn’t give us any sarcastic quotes, he gave us sarcastic photos.

    Whenever Misty does an interview, he’s kind of like God. To the interviewer, at least. Because we KNOW that writer is getting a promotion after the fantastic pull quote that FJM gives them. FJM has said so many quotable things, we could probably dedicate an entire post to just that (and we might), but just to go over a few: "I get sick pleasure out of reading about how much people hate me," "If you take away my music from me, all you have left is a mustache and a bad attitude," and "She fully impregnated my dilated soul with her ideology," regarding that one time he saw Taylor Swift live while on LSD, of course.

    However, in his latest interview with GQ *dramatic pause* ...he did not say any quotable things *gasp*! But don’t think GQ let him get away with it. Instead, they one-upped all of the blogs with Misty’s sarcastic words and took it to the next level: sarcastic photos. Didn’t think it could be done? Well just take a look at this photo of Misty pouring a glass of something that’s definitely not water on the floor:

    And this photo of him nonchalantly holding a vase of flowers:

    He looks like an asshole, but in the best way possible. And those clothes! In an interview a few years ago, he described his personal style as "more of a Moroccan-slash-pajama vibe," and well, yeah. These photos are exactly that on a whole new level.

    I mean, only FJM can casually set sheet music on fire while smoking a cigarette with the most sarcastic look on his face -- right? All I know is now I’m stressed out because I have no idea which photo to choose for my new phone wallpaper.

    2. Lorde walked into Liquiteria for a smoothie and walked out with a new BFF.

    Lorde recently stopped by Liquiteria in NYC a few days ahead of her performance at Governors Ball and while she was there, she really got along with the cashier, Ayesha, who served her. Ayesha then posted a video on Twitter (below) saying "this is my first smoothie to a famous person. We got Lorde in the house today. She got a blue velvet. I’m shook."

    After downing that smoothie by the name of Blue Velvet (is that a play on red velvet? What’s the deal with that by the way?), Lorde decided to slide into the cashier’s DMs and invite her to Governors Ball, because apparently she wanted to do it in person but she "got shy." Oh Lorde, you are so relatable.

    How funny would it be if Ayesha responded with "new phone, who dis"? I hope that girl didn’t have any plans… Because when Lorde invites you to hang with her at Governors Ball, YOU GO HANG WITH HER AT GOVERNORS BALL.

    3. Over 66 million of Katy Perry’s Twitter followers are FAKE.

    As the release of KatyCat's new album inches closer and closer, her reputation tanks more and more. After finding out that nearly half of Donald Trump's Twitter followers are fake (am I the only one who isn't surprised?), America has gone mad with checking other celebs' numbers. And of course they checked Katy Perry's next, since she's the most followed person on Twitter. If you go to her page, it says she really has 99.3 million followers, but apparently nothing is real and we can't trust anyone anymore, because according to Digital Spy, who put her handle through the TwitterAudit service, on 32% of those followers are real human beings. That means that 66,934,252 of those followers are fake. To make it even worse, Perry's arch nemesis Taylor Swift clocks in at 84.4 million followers, with only 9,740,703 being fake.

    This all makes sense to me now. I feel like I haven't met a Katy Perry fan in a really long time, and now I know why. It's because apparently, there are none...

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