Plus, I'm pretty sure Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson is bringing back fanny packs anyway, so you don't even have to worry about it squashing your cool factor.
PRO TIP #4: You will not catch all of the acts you want to see. Accept this now.
I've gone through some serious sadness after missing one of my favorite acts. It's usually because of schedule overlap (Childish Gambino and Phoenix are playing at the same exact time, really Gov Ball?
) or because the friends you're with disagree with your musical choice (can we even call people with bad music taste "friends"?). I used to get upset after missing a band, but after adopting a more carefree mindset and realizing that hey, festivals are way more fun if you don't care as much, I've enjoyed myself a lot more.
And conversely, if you're missing acts because of conflicts with friends, it is
okay to separate for a set to catch someone alone. Just make sure that you all have a meeting place at a strict time, because cell service isn't really a thing on festival grounds. And that leads me to my 5th tip...
PRO TIP #5: Just assume your cell phone won't be usable.
Yes, you will physically have your cell phone, but you won't be able to use it much. When it's busy not getting any service, it will be running out of battery by mid-day. I can't even fathom how many time I've split up with my friends with my famous last words being, "I'll text you when I'm ready to meet" only to end up spending the rest of the night alone. Just be safe and assume that your cell phone isn't reliable and instead, if you have to split up, come up with a meeting spot at a specific meeting spot.
PRO TIP #6: But invest in a portable phone charger.
Yeah, yeah, I just told you to pretend your phone is useless, but still, having a charged phone is better than having a dead one... Plus, you'll need it once you get off fest grounds and travel back home.
You when you get that battery life up to 100:
PRO TIP #7: Don't get too drunk.
Here's another one you've probably heard before - and for good reason. Not only is over-drinking terrible for your body in the extreme heat, but it's also terrible for your wallet! At $10-15 a beer, you'd be better off nourishing your body with a meal... Which again, leads me to my next tip...
(Don't be this guy)
PRO TIP #8: Eat properly.
Like drinks, festival food is notoriously overpriced, so you might want to bring some of your own snacks - and healthy
snacks. I learned the hard way. Right before Radiohead's set, I downed an enormous plate of paella, and while it was delicious, it put me to sleep halfway through the legendary band's set. Do you know how mad I was? So, to make sure that doesn't happen to you, eat things that are somewhat light but that will fill you up and fuel your body for the rest of the day - fruit, nuts, energy bars, etc. I know you have your eye on that $15 pulled pork sandwich - and trust me, so do I - but save it for the last meal on the last day, when you're ready to go home and take 24 hour long nap.
This is exactly what I looked like when I was eating my $16 paella, tbh:
So, hopefully something good came out of my bad experiences and you now know have the proper tools to come out of a festival alive. Drink water and wear sunscreen - it's harder than it sounds, but I have complete faith in you all. Good luck!