Hall Of Shame: David Hasselhoff In 'True Survivor'
    • MONDAY, APRIL 20, 2015

    • Posted by: Jason Greenspan

    David Hasselhoff knows how to poke fun at himself like no other. Well, Chuck Norris is certainly a contender, but there's something more colorful about the Hoff's ridiculously lurid, over-exaggerated representations of himself. And creating spoof-oriented versions of yourself isn't easy when your actual work (e.g. Bay Watch) plays like it's a bad joke. But somehow, this man has been able to stay at least somewhat relevant by cultivating a "lovable douche" persona and popping up here and there in silly cameos and unexpected music releases.

    His latest penetration into pop culture comes in the form of the 80's power track "True Survivor" and its accompanying manic music video. The song is actually the theme for the upcoming Kickstarter-funded film, "Kung Fury," a project that's been generating considerable buzz due to its outlandish visuals and absurd plot - a cop goes back in time to eliminate Hitler. So, the video is essentially a movie trailer on steroids and cocaine, and maybe some accidental acid.

    I need to clarify that this week's Hall Of Shame inductee is in fact David Hasselhoff, but only because his latest work is so bad that it's good... really good. The visuals -- especially the scene during which the Johnny Cage-esque protagonist goes on a Nazi scissor-kicking spree a la Streets Of Rage -- are just fantastic. Coming in a close second is the electrifying keytar solo performed by the pedophile-glasses-wearing, mullet-sporting IT nerd. And the Hoff log roll walking on an aerial car as he takes out three machine-gun-wielding thugs - he definitely does his own stunts - is just enthralling.

    His vocals are still as awe-inspiring as they were during the "Looking For Freedom" days. Add the driving electronic drums, and the combination makes me want to throw on a sweatsuit and aggressively train in public before slaying a dragon in Central Park. And there's no way I'm the only one who's impressed here; show this video to any woman and I guarantee they'd wish they were in the passenger's seat of that white Lamborghini Countach with Hoff speeding off into the sunset.

    Whether or not Kung Fury is a success, I'm sure that "True Survivor" will become a much beloved drinking anthem at colleges across the U.S. At the very least, I know that I'll be listening to it before leg day at the gym and before job interviews etc. So here's to you, Hoff, and your ability to remain cool while being cataclysmically corny.

    Oh, and sorry for putting you in the Hall of Shame. It's kind of a compliment, I swear.

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