More Americans watch American Idol
than any other show. But not you. You're too cool for that, right?
BaebleBlog doesn't really believe you, but we've still decided to keep a detailed account of tonight's proceedings - just so you can keep up with all things Idol
without questioning your indie cred.
8:02 - Blake Lewis
takes the stage and starts beatboxing to 311's "All Mixed Up." Oh man. The dude will eventually run out of beatbox-able songs, right? I mean, he can't keep this up forever. Right?!
• 8:04 - Randy, Paula, and Simon have no idea
what song Blake just sang. Ryan Seacrest politely informs them. Booyah, Simon - you got served.
• 8:05-8:10 - Wow. That was a lot of commercials.
• 8:11 - Sanjaya
takes the stage, smiles a lot, and attempts to rock a John Mayer song. It sounds a little weak, man, and you perform with all the confidence of a deer trapped in headlights... but your hair sure looks great.
• 8:16 - Pearl Jam songs! On prime-time TV in 2007! There is a God... even if God would have to be unfamiliar with the song's original version to actually enjoy Sundance
's pitchy rendition.
• 8:19 - Commercials commercials commercials...
• 8:22 - Travis Tritt makes a brief appearance. Ryan interviews him. America is confused.
• 8:24 - Chris Richardson
gives his Timberlake impressions a rest and does a country ballad. The judges like it. The girls in the audience like it. No sign of Travis Tritt's opinion...
• 8:26 - Annnd we're into another string of commercials. Fantastic.
• 8:32 - Jared
's eyebrows are massive
. How is anyone supposed to judge him when those eyebrows are making more noise than his voice? AHHHHHHHH! Jared is apparently the long-lost son of Peter Gallagher.
• 8:35 - Guess what's happening now? COMMERCIALS. We're just going to stop mentioning them from now on.
• 8:41 - Brandon
brings the funk with "Celebrate," and Blake-the-beatboxer starts rocking up in the balcony. The song's ending is rough, but this is so much better than last week. Simon unceremoniously damns Brandon by saying "frankly, I'm a little nervous for you this week." At least it's not Simon's decision at this stage...
• 8:45 - Phil
attempts a LeeAnn Rimes song, sounds kinda bad, then sounds kinda good, then kinda loses it, then kinda gains it back. We like you, Phil. We like the whole bald thing. We wish this was better, and hopefully you'll be back next week.
• 8:52 - Curly-haired Chris Sligh
sounds good. Nail that key change, Chris! Stab that mic stand into the air at the end of the song! Rock!
That's a wrap, folks. We're gonna change the channel before Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?
comes on and actually makes us stupider for watching...