Dreams Come True Camping With Brian Wilson
    • MONDAY, MARCH 25, 2013

    • Posted by: Matt Howard

    In the summer of 1998, my parents dished out around $1,500 to kick me out of the house for a week, sending me into the New Jersey Pine Barrens with a bunch of strangers. It was the coolest week ever - we swam in a lake, lit stuff on fire, and I learned what it was like to make out with a girl and never have to see or speak to her again (a skill that would come in handy later in life). And how did this happen? We were supervised by a bunch of 18-year-old, dread-locked dudes listening to Rusted Root. It was a 90s version of Wet Hot American Summer.

    Unfortunately, my parents never shipped me off to the woods again as my free time was devoted to lacrosse camps (a lotta good that did huh dad?). This left me with the sobering understanding that at 25 years old, I've missed all opportunities to experience another crazy summer camp.

    That was, until I found this today!

    So you're telling me that for only $10,000+ bucks I can go to sleep-away camp at the MGM Grand and Brian Wilson will be my counselor?! Imagine his scary campfire stories about butterflies and didgeridoos. The possibilities are endless.

    "Who dosed the bug juice?!"



    For an additional $799, I can bring my spouse, and for only $499, a bunch of dudes with cameras will act like paparazzi and take pictures of my dumb ass! Does anyone else smell the deal of the century?

    You know the money you gave the orthodontist to fix your kid's teeth? Yeah, he spent it on this shit...

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