1. Donald Trump fights with Snoop Dogg on Twitter.
Snoop Dogg recently dropped a video for his remix of BadBadNotGood and Kaytranada's "Lavender" which features the rapper firing a fake gun at a fake clown Trump:
Can you guess what happened next? Trump didn't like it one bit. And being the cool guy he is, instead of focusing on politics, he chose to respond and start up a feud with the rapper via Twitter. Professional!
First of all, do NOT say that Snoop Dogg's career is "failing." The fact that you're taking the time to respond to him right now means that he's big enough to have an influence on you. YOU. The Almighty God! Also, this is the dude that did "Drop It Like It's Hot." He smokes weed with Miley Cyrus like, all
the time. He has a fucking TV show with Martha Stewart!
So don't you dare bully America's beloved rapper right now. Secondly, peeps would freak if he aimed a fake gun at President Obama because... Well, he would never do that. We're getting a little too old for "what ifs," don't you think? Obama was a legitimate president who did presidential shit. You kind of just sit around on Twitter bullying anyone who doesn't feed your narcissism and labeling anything you don't like as "FAKE NEWS!" as if that actually solves things. And really, how can you be so narcissistic if at the same time, you hate all of the very real
facts about yourself? You're like Rose Armitage's dad at the beginning of Get Out
when he meets her black boyfriend and keeps spitting out totally creepy things and at first the audience thinks it's a funny joke but then they realize it's not a joke at all and you're actually a racist serial killer.
Now, Snoop Dogg has responded via Instagram, telling us he's got nothing to say:
Snoop Dawggy Dawg looks pretty chill, and why wouldn't he be? This is a man who has illegally smoked pot on TV more times than Ed Sheeran has dropped Taylor Swift's name in an interview. I don't think getting arrested is one of his main concerns.
2. Taylor Swift might be launching her very own music streaming service.
Just kidding. Don't listen to the media, kids. They feed you nothing but lies - LIES! There were rumors going around that Swift was starting up her own streaming service called - wait for it - Swifties (just puked in my mouth and then swallowed it). TMZ
reported that "Taylor's filed docs giving her the right to brand a website 'featuring non-downloadable multi-media content in the nature of audio recordings.'" Sure, that could sound like a potential streaming service, but then they went on to add, "she's looking to launch a line of music products, including guitars, guitar picks, guitar straps and drumsticks. Her plans also include organizing retreats, educational camps and self-guided online courses." ...OK, I'm pretty sure you can't purchase a drum stick on Spotify.
By now we all know that Swift is a money-grabbing maniac, so this shouldn't come as much of a surprise to us. Why have one website where fans can buy stuff when you can have two
websites? I hear crisp hundred dollar bills and Taylor happy sobbing on Ed Sheeran and Cherry's shoulder in the distance. "You guys! I'm sorry to break up this date but I'm just so happy I'm finally going to be worth more money than Katy Perry!"
3. Nicki Minaj finally responds to Remy Ma, 10 years later.
Remy Ma has been bashing Nicki Minaj for quite some time now
, and it only took Nicki five hundred years, but we've finally got a response to "Shether" and it's called "No Frauds":
Personally, my favorite line is "what type of mother leave her 1 son over a stack,"
that one is just super personal and hits right in the gut. And then she says something later on about what kind of friend shoots someone in her squad or something. Other than that, it's a pretty weak come back, and maybe that's why it took so long to get here. Nicki was probably up all night in the studio trying to write something but the fear that she might lose this battle paralyzed her. She basically just responded to Remy's accusations with the same accusations. "I got a big booty? No YOU got a big booty!"
Nice one. OK, she didn't actually say that, but she basically did.
4. Azealia Banks finally showed up to court for that boob biting case, also 10 years later.
Azealia Banks finally made it to court after skipping it the first time for Paris Fashion Week, and this is what she wore. Honestly those stockings are to die for, and the first person to tell me where I can buy myself a pair will get a free shoutout on my Twitter:
These are also all of the other looks she rocked to court. Blue lipstick? How can the judge resist.
Banks apologized to the judge for being "tardy" (girl, you weren't just late, you fully
missed the date). Dlisted
said, "Prosecutors presented some evidence that Azealia has a history being violent, like a fucked-up incident in 2009 where she slashed her own sister in the neck, arm, and hand with a box cutter." That might be enough to put her in jail, but she (Taylor) swiftly avoided it by pleading guilty to third-degree assault. Part of the deal also includes her completing an anger management program, continuing mental health treatment, obeying a restraining order, and just overall being a decent human being. Banks' entertainment attorney John Vafa told Pitchfork
about the plea deal. "After conferring and working with Ms. Banks' New York criminal attorney, we were able to negotiate and accept a plea deal," he said. "Ms. Banks will participate in the ordered courses by the district attorney and the judge for 26 weeks." 26 weeks. Azealia Banks just has to not fuck up for 26 weeks.