March 11th Reminds Us That 311 Is the Worst
    • MONDAY, MARCH 11, 2013

    • Posted by: Matt Howard

    Today is Monday, March 11th. I came to work under the assumption that it was just a normal Monday, but I was dead wrong. According to my Facebook news feed, today is 311 Day - a celebration that's put on by the same people who remind us every year on April 20th that they're still living in their parents' basement.

    Little side story: I saw a guy with a 311 calf tattoo and threw up in my mouth. The end...

    To help get the diggity down down out of your head, we took it upon ourselves to read an entire Wikipedia page for some more monumental things to celebrate on the 11th of March.

    - It's Johnny Appleseed Day - you know...he sort of just...INVENTED THE APPLE!

    - 1861 - American Civil War: The Constitution of the Confederate States of America is adopted...Luckily Daniel Day Lewis wasn't havin' it, not one bit.

    - 1993 Janet Reno is confirmed by the United States Senate and sworn in the next day, becoming the first female Attorney General of the United States. Which is entirely responsible for this.

    - It's Rupert Murdoch, Lisa Loeb, Johnny Knoxville, Didier Drogba, and Terrence Howard's birthday!

    Okay, that's pretty much all we have, but it should be enough to keep your son off the reggae rap and hair bleach.

    Here are some more awful 311 tatz. It should tell you something that most of these photos were found on Myspace.





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