1. Katy Perry and Orlando Bloom are DUNZO.
Okay, so apparently they're not "dunzo," but according to their reps, they are "taking respectful, loving space at this time." WTF? That sounds WAY
too gentle, like a narration of a beautiful baby cub being born on Discovery Channel. Katy Kat and O Dawg are not baby cubs, if you know what I mean. Where's the natural breakup aggression?!
went on to say, "This really wasn't a bad breakup for her... [Her split from John Mayer] was a lot harder for her. This just ran its course." Um...Ouch? Let's hope Orlando ain't reading this because this is really going to hurt his feelings! Might as well have his rep fire back with "well, you know, he was married to a Victoria's Secret model one time so Katy can't really ever compare."
According to Daily Mail
(a very reliable source), Orlando was seen getting comfy cozy
with some rando brunette prior to this breakup - but honestly, does that even mean anything? It looks like he was getting cozy with this dude, too:
All I have to say is Orlando, man, if you're out there reading this, you are 40 years old and have a child with your ex-wife Miranda Kerr (who is dreamy as fuck, seriously why'd you ever let her go?) so you need to reevaluate your priorities and GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER. Stop playin' around with these randos!
2. Lady Gaga replaces Beyonce at Coachella.
Are we surprised? Did anyone else see Bey's baby bump at The Grammys? It looked like her wardrobe team specifically requested a custom designed dress two sizes too small to make her look less pregnant than she actually was - which only resulted in her looking MORE pregnant. She's probably about to pop but just didn't want people - and by people I mean the folks over at Coachella - to see and call off the show. Because she is Bey and if she cancels, it has to be on her own terms.
As far as Lady Gaga goes, my reaction to this was pretty plain. Gaga was the predictable answer. She's not a bad replacement but she's not the most exciting one either - she's just... fine. It makes sense, she just came off her Superbowl performance and is now about to tour her new album. I'm not sure if the Beyhive and Monsters get along but I'm assuming this will be a pretty cordial transition. If anything, Gaga's massive LGBT activism/following will be more harrowing for Philip Anschutz, the CEO of the company behind Coachella who worked against anti-LGBT groups and then claimed it as "fake news" immediately after.
3. Nicki Minaj and Remy Ma are beefin'.
Ever since Love & Hip Hop: New York
star Remy Ma thought Nicki was talking shit in a verse in Gucci Mane's song "Make Love," she's been throwing the shit talk right back at her - and it's hilarious. First she put out the 7 minute long diss track, "Shether"
which Nicki responded to with this to let her know how WELL she's doing. #HumbleBrag.
Do you think Remy hates Nicki based off of this cover art?
Then Remy continued to rub her sales in Nicki's face. "Shether" is doing pretty well apparently:
Remy literally did eight years in prison for shooting someone in her own entourage...So I'm not taking sides or anything, but Nicki, you best get the hell out (for your own safety pls).