Azealia Banks might have just given out Rihanna's number (which is great because we've got a big fat crush on RiRi
and we can now use this information to finally ask her out on a date), Selena Gomez stabbed her BFF Bella Hadid in the back and is now twisting the knife by making her relationship with The Weeknd extra public, and BEYONCE IS PREGGGGO. The main takeaway from all of this? LOVE IS IN THE AIR, FAM.
1. Selena Gomez and The Weeknd go on a second date IN ITALY.
I remember when me and my first boyfriend went on a second date in high school, he took me out to sushi and then, because it was late at night and we lived in the middle of nowhere but wanted to do something fun, took me to Walmart. Yup, we walked into the shittier version of Target and played catch with deflated footballs. So while me and homeboy are looking at half-priced dishwashers and chewing on soggy Walmart-brand Oreos, Selena Gomez and The Weeknd are off in fucking Italy, sipping on 1947 Cheval Blanc and eating a ton of spaghetti and meatballs, probably
Usually this would be cute, but they only started dating a few weeks ago. Seriously, Italy as a second date? That means living together without getting pissed off or sick of each other. I can't live with a box of cookies on my kitchen counter for too long without getting irritated at the fact that they're just cluttering my apartment. That's like going on a bad date but then not being able to take a quick trip to the bathroom mid-dinner only to escape through the window and ghost the other person for life. Sounds like a great way to ruin a relationship to me.
2. BEYONCE IS PREGNANT.
Wow, I am SO glad I procrastinated on writing this piece today, because Queen B just
announced that she is preggo with twins via Instagram. #TWINS, ya'll. And of course she looks fucking gorgeous while carrying twins. Of course
she's elegantly squatting on a bed of roses in beautiful, lady-like lingerie and a fucking veil. It's such a Beyonce way to do it. Pretty sure if any other preggo woman tried that, the sweat would be visible on their forehead.
But like all things Beyonce-related, what's more interesting in this story is not the fact that Beyonce is preggo, but the colossal response she has generated, merely by being herself. Twitter rarely notifies me about current events, but they thought this piece of news was worthy of a personal text. Thanks, Twitter. Also, she's scheduled to headline Coachella in April, so we are not sure where we all stand on that front. Are all of the people who bought Chella tickets just to experience "Formation" IRL about to be #SOOL?
Looks like Yonce's going to need to make more #LEMONADE, 'cause she's about to have a lot more mouths to feed.
Also check out some of these fan reactions via Twitter:
3. Azealia Banks and Rihanna are in a feud now.
So Rihanna sent out this Tweet, making her disgust with the president known:
And then Azealia Banks, AKA world's biggest internet troll who is BANNED FROM TWITTER, used Instagram to respond
, "Stop chastising the president. It's stupid and pathetic to watch. All of these confused people confuse other confused people."
THEN RiRi posted this photo on Instagram, check the caption:
"the face you make when you a immigrant #stayawayfromthechickens# iheartnuggets #saveourhens."
(She's referring to the time when Banks sacrificed a bunch of chickens in her closet).
The two went back and forth for some time. Banks accused RiRi of doing drugs (which isn't really shocking amongst famous celebz) and then RiRi posted a screenshot of one of Banks' texts, revealing her phone number. Then Banks fired back by Instagramming RiRi's number. All of these posts have been deleted since then, but seriously... Can we get Ri's number? (Who are we kidding... She definitely changed it after this chicken nugget-fueled fight). We love you RiRi.
Banks had to get the last word in though with this post, a day later: