I've been doing a lot of reflecting today, what with it being just two days before the end of the year and all, and I've been thinking about all the new music I consumed this year. And there's so freaking much of it. Like almost too much for me to recall even. There's been bops and bangers, songs that clap and songs that smack, songs that make me laugh and songs that make me cry. And then there are the songs that trigger some sort of innate reflex in me, causing me to immediately tear my headphones from my head, press the pause or mute button, and generally do whatever it takes to get as far away from them as possible. Some of them just suck, sure, but some of them are the victims of being played to death by people who don't understand that there is too much of a good thing. I know this list will probably be a bit polarizing, but I don't care, it's my list, and these are the songs that I most certainly do not want to hear again in 2018.
1. Eminem - "Walk on Water" ft. Beyonce
Before you get ready to claw my eyes out, no, my beef with this song has nothing to do with Beyonce, it's all with Eminem. Honestly I don't want to hear any Eminem in 2018, let alone this song. Beyonce's chorus appearances are great, and she nails her vocals, but Em, Em is just bad on this. The whole song is overly melodramatic, and like the rest of Revival
, it's just kind of corny. In a year with so many rap and hip-hop releases, this track was definitely bottom of the list for me.
2. Kendrick Lamar - "Humble"
Yes, I loved this song, and yes, I will back it as 2017's song of the year. That doesn't mean it wasn't also 2017's most overplayed song. Once, for laughs, my friend let me browse her Tinder account, to see what it's like from a woman's perspective, and aside from the grossly overt sexual messages, the one thing I noticed was that literally every guy had "Humble" as his Tinder anthem. I just hope that in 2018 we can be a little more original.
3. Ed Sheeran - "Shape of You"
I nearly boycotted Game of Thrones when Ed Sheeran had his cameo on the show and I would gladly boycott any person who intentionally plays this song, or Ed Sheeran in general, in 2018.
4. Cardi B - "Bodak Yellow"
Love Cardi B, but this horse got beaten to death. She's already proving that she's capable of following up the success of "Bodak Yellow" with material of equal and even greater value, so let's focus on what she's got in store for the future. Please don't crucify me for this.
5. Weezer - "Feels Like Summer"
I want Weezer to go to their room and think about what they did with this track and Pacific Daydream
in general. The trouble is, I know I'm going to hear this song again in 2018 because it's totally made for television, and bound to appear in like 25 car commercials.
6. Taylor Swift - "Look What You Made Me Do"
The literal anthem for petty people everywhere. If Myspace was still relevant, 12 year olds everywhere would be making this their profile song after breaking up with their bff who stole their hair tie or something. I don't know, I'm not 12 years old or Taylor Swift so I don't know much about petty drama.
7. Luis Fonsi - "Despacito" ft. Daddy Yankee
Fun fact, I've never actually listened to this song from start to finish. You might say that means I'm not qualified to put it on this list then, but I know what I like and I know what I don't like and nothing will redeem this song for me. I'm begging you to leave this song in 2017 where it belongs.
8. The Chainsmokers - "Closer"