THURSDAY, DECEMBER 29, 2016 |
Posted by: Alexander Spruch
2016 was a wonderful year for music (release-wise, not death-wise). And while we heard some truly incredible albums and songs, there was more than a few clunkers. And with these clunkers we got some real awful lyrics. Here's some of our favorites:
1. "Got so many chains they call me Chaining Tatum, they do."
- "Pop Style" by Drake
Let's just get this one out of the way. Drake dropped his album Views early in the year and anyone who listened to it immediately knew we had one of our contenders for worst lyric of the year. We haven't forgotten, Drake.
2. "You might have a mom, she might be the bomb
But ain't nobody got a mom like mine
Her love's 'til the end, she's my best friend
Ain't nobody got a mom like mine."
- "Mom" by Meghan Trainor (Ft. Kelli Trainor)
First, this is braggy. Come on, Meghan. Secondly, rhyming Mom with bomb, seriously? Sure, this may be relatable to countless teen girls who think their Mom is the best but then Ms. Trainor has to restate that quip one more time just before the intro concludes. Maybe our Moms really are different, mine would never let me put something out that would be so embarrassing to the whole family.
3. "In the place that feels the tears
The place to lose your fears
Yeah, reckless behavior
A place that is so pure, so dirty and raw
In the bed all day, bed all day, bed all day."
- "Pillowtalk" by Zayn
I know this album's creation was to serve as evidence that Zayn has indeed had sex. However, this one lyric is so catastrophically bad that it throws the entire case into question. Out of all the things that takes place in the act known as intercourse, Zayn chose to romanticize the memory foam mattress from Amazon. And I don't care if it has over 300 reviews and is at a 4 star rating. Don't describe your bed as "so pure" unless you want to be sleeping alone.
4. "And I love the way your breath
Numbs me like novacaine
And we are
- "Bad Things" by Machine Gun Kelly and Camila Capello
Nothing says romantic like your partner breathing on you so much you get high. Also, I wouldn't describe the experiences I've had with novacaine at my dentist as necessarily "enjoyable". In fact I got a slice of pizza right after once and I was so numb I bit my lip so hard it started bleeding all over the pizzeria table. Maybe Machine Gun Kelly was right, I would put that experience under a list titled "Bad Things".
5. "Throw some perm on your attitude."
- "Perm" by Bruno Mars
I just looked up the definition of perm, thinking there might be some alternate meaning besides curly hair, but nope, that's the only kind of perm there is. So how do you throw that on your attitude? Is Bruno referring to a perm as fun or something? We usually refer to perms as bad decisions.