Musical Star Wars: Jedi or Sith
    • THURSDAY, DECEMBER 17, 2015

    • Posted by: Vince Brigante

    We've been waiting a long time (ago, in a galaxy far, far away) for this. Star Wars: The Force Awakens hits theaters this Friday, and I've just cut my padawan braid. Sci-fi nerds and lightsaber wielding geeks alike are ready to Force throw everyone out of their way to storm the theaters. I'll never forget the Dagobah scene with an aspiring Luke and a feeble master Yoda. Matter of fact, I keep a small action-figure Luke with his muddy tank and cargo pants from that scene by my bedside. Judge me. In honor of the highly anticipated new film, we put together a list of 10 artists we think would be Jedi's or would have joined the Dark Side. In no particular order, here they are.

    Chad Kroeger (Nickelback): Sith

    Well, this is obvious. Do you really want to look at that photograph and think about if it made you laugh? No, that's the working of the Sith. We're standing strong with the Rebel Alliance.

    Justin Bieber: Sith

    The pop-prince is sort of Anakin in a sense. His midichlorian count was crazy high, but then he started messing up and couldn't handle the Force. Now, he plots vengeance to overturn the Jedi council and is constantly angry (and peeing in public).

    Jesse Lacey (Brand New): Jedi

    Some of the lyrics on The Devil and God Are Raging Inside Of Me may seem a bit on the Dark Side (literally) but overall, Lacey has the calm aura that only a member of the Force can exude. Lacey has the quiet strength of feel, resembling Qui-Gon Jinn. R.I.P.

    Justin Timberlake: Jedi

    J-Timb is a member of the Jedi council. He's wise, and has seen the moons of Coruscant, and has negotiated in the outer-rim's of Naboo. Plus, with the hair and the beard he totally resembles Obi-Wan a little bit.

    James Bay: Jedi

    Totally a Jedi. He's got the flowy hair, and a partially controlling/dominating face that juxtaposes its soft features just the right amount to be wary of him if he was in a long brown burlap-like cloak.

    Albert Hammond Jr. (The Strokes): Jedi

    Recently, The Strokes guitarist noticed his girlfriend was getting pickpocketed and man did he let the perpetrator have it. Sure, Jedi's don't practice anger, but they also protect the defenseless. You go Jedi Hammond Jr.

    Jack White: Sith

    Doesn't he just look alarming? There's this flush coldness to him that makes him an ideal practitioner for the Dark Side. Think Palpatine but way more trendy, with more hair, and much more pale. "Good, Anakin, Good. Kill him."

    Chris Martin (Coldplay): Jedi

    Chris Martin is charismatic, and composed: two rules of being a Jedi. What color do you think his lightsaber would be?

    Josh Eppard (Coheed & Cambria): Jedi

    Clearly intact with the Force, Josh Eppard wields drums like it's his lightsaber. Not to mention, he's also a huge Sci-fi fan, so we know he's team Jedi. We had the chance to speak with him about his latest music last month, but we didn't get around to the Jedi segment. (Kidding.) But anyways, we've declared him a member of the Force prepared to support the Rebel Alliance.

    Kanye West: Sith

    See, now, this is sort of another Anakin-esque situation because Kanye isn't full Sith. I think his music and when he's not behaving rambunctiously on a stage, his behavior at times can be Jedi quality. But, looming around Kanye, is this foreshadowing evil that he could be turned at any moment. The Jedi Council simply just doesn't have enough patience for him, he's too controlled by his own emotions.

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