TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 08, 2016 |
Posted by: Gabe Paoletti
As the 2016 election is coming to a close, it's becoming harder and harder to do anything but stress about what the results will be. Instead of refreshing the electoral models, checking for early voter exit polls, and waiting for new surveys, all of which won't give you much of a better picture in this now close election, here are 5 absolutely absurd videos to get you out of that mind state. Rather than wondering who will be president, your mind will be more occupied by more pressing questions like "why would anyone make this video?" "what's going on?" "where am I?". Here are some of the weirdest videos to take your mind off of this historical and definite process that will change the world, and that you have no power over but your one vote:
1. Barnes & Barnes - "Fish Heads"
What, why are there fish heads singing? When was this video made? How did this VHS tape of a guy eating with beheaded fish make it onto the internet? Who wrote this song, and why? These are all the questions you must be asking yourself instead of constantly dwelling on the possibility of a Trump presidency. This odd music video was directed by Bill Paxton, future star of Twister and originally aired on SNL in 1980. See, now don't those fun facts distract you from the idea that we might withdraw from NATO under a Trump administration?
2. Unedited Footage Of A Bear
This video is pretty much insanity. Released as one of Adult Swim's infomercials, this video was broadcast in the early A.M. so that it could blend in with infomercials showing on the channel at the time. The fact that this video shows a woman attempting to kill another version of herself should surely distract you from the fact that you will most likely be casting a ballot for a president you don't wholeheartedly support. And that even if you do fully support one of the candidates, the general antipathy toward either candidate by popular culture has probably soured the process somewhat. But you're not thinking about that now are you? This insanity on your computer has no doubt completely removed such thoughts from your head.
3. Action Bronson makes the dopest milkshake ever
Watch this if you're trying to get your mind off of the election, but if you're hungry, it may not be the best idea...Rapper Action Bronson will intensify any hunger that you're currently experiencing by showing you how to make a bomb-ass milkshake and eating pasta and bruschetta and beer...Oh god, now my stomach is rumbling. Shit. This hunger is definitely outweighing my anger about the election. FOOD FTW.
4. Electric Six - "Gay Bar"
The Detroit alt-rock band Electric Six released the song "Gay Bar," an absurd song paired with an as absurd music video featuring Lincoln singing and dancing provocatively in the White Hou--Oh shit there's a former president in this video? That's not going to distract anyone! And he sings about nuclear war?? Alright actually just ignore this one. I'm pretty sure a president acting lewdly and threatening nuclear war is not what anyone wants to think about right now.
5. Green Jelly - Obey The Cow God
See, now here's a video that has nothing to do with presidents or elections. This video features late 80s punk band Green Jelly singing their hit song "Obey The Cow God" while their lead singer wears an enormous paper mache cow head. This video hearkens to a past in which we didn't have to worry about an insane orange reality star becoming president and ruining this country and instead already had an insane flesh toned movie star ruining the country. Oh god are we going to have another Reagan after this election? Or is he going to be way worse? And even if Hillary wins, is the Senate going to stay Republican? Oh my god I can't think of anything else, this list was futile, I'm sorry.