WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 19, 2014 |
Posted by: Leanne Heidenberg
Do not, I repeat DO NOT fuck with One Direction for fear of an angry mob coming at you with pitchforks, torches, and angry tweets! This is the punishment that Matt Lauer of NBC's The Today Show now faces after asking if Zayn Malik was absent due to "something more serious than just a minor illness".
After a video of Zayn and Louis smoking a joint surfaced online rumors of further substance abuse soon followed,inspiring Lauer's next question: "There have been rumors of substance abuse — what's going on?" Bandmate, Liam, responded by saying that Zayn "just had a tummy ache".
I would like to present two sides of this argument:
Team 1D: Matt Lauer did accuse Zayn of have a substance abuse problem on national television and asked his band mates to rat him out. Kinda rude, especially since the video took place in Peru where marijuana possession for personal use is legal in Peru, so perpetuating these rumors is a smidge unnecessary, Matt.
Team Lauer: As a journalist he has to address the evidence and present facts to the public. Sorry One Direction, but the stats show that at least one member of teenybopper bands might end up in rehab for "just a tummy ache". I just wanna know which one of you it might be.
A Biased Disclaimer: If you are so lucky as to have never met a true, die-hard One Direction fan let me explain why what Matt Lauer said was such a painful affront to their followers. God created One Direction in his own image. They are the most perfect example of perfection,demigods that could never be stricken by human weakness such as drug addiction or illness. One Direction fans don't really care why Zayn wasn't there as long as he's back as beautiful and quaffed as ever. If it wasn't for twitter, and 1D fans had to collectively vocalize their fury, it would be a pitch only dogs could hear anyways. Good for them this is not the case. Who knew such passion could be contained in 140 characters: