Maybe it's the weather, maybe it's having just binged the second season of Stranger Things
, or maybe it's something in the water (I'm onto you Big Fluoride), but lately I've been feeling a bit on edge. I can't quite place my finger on it, but something fishy is definitely going on. I'm pretty sure a pigeon with a camera was following me yesterday, and I'd like very much to know who he's working for. There seems to be something strange going on in the world of entertainment, and if I'd known that this is what was in store for me as a music journalist, I would have never signed up.
Anyways, I set about the other day going down the rabbit hole, trying to dig up clues and see just what exactly is going on around here. Instead, I stumbled across a treasure trove of conspiracy theories that show that not everything is quite as it seems. The music industry as we know it is a farce, and we are being duped left and right. Assembled here, for your eyes only, are some of the so-crazy-it-might-actually-be-true conspiracies that I've encountered. Burn this after reading, and make sure your tinfoil hat is on hand.
1. Beyonce's pregnancy was a lie.
I've seen this theory floating around before, and while you might say, "But Chris! We've all seen the stunning photo shoot, the twins are real!" I'll have to stop you right there and point out that this is Blue Ivy we're talking about, not the two newest additions.
In 2011, Bey announced that she was "pregnant" with the child that would become Blue Ivy. However, she immediately began giving contradictory reports on her progress. In one month, she was four months along, and then only shortly thereafter, six months along. Additionally, during an interview with Sunday Times
in Australia, Beyonce's stomach seemed to deflate as she sat down, suggesting something was amiss. But the final nail in the coffin of this case came during the birth.
According to reports, Beyonce and Jay-Z spent over one million dollars to shut down the entire fourth floor of Lenox Hill Hospital, forbidding even doctors from entering the floor. Tape was put over security cameras, and no cell phones were permitted on the floor. I'm not saying that the birth was a cover up by the Illuminati, but it's probably a cover up by the Illuminati.
2. Avril Lavigne has been replaced by a body double.
Why did she have to go and make things so complicated? In 2003, after struggling with dealing with all the hype and the paparazzi, Lavigne hired a body double, dubbed Melissa to take some of the heat off of her. Eventually, the clone became so good at mimicking her mannerisms, the two were nearly identical.
Still suffering from the pressures placed upon a young artist by the voracious music industry, Lavigne tragically took her life in 2003. But the record execs didn't want to let go of the cash cow just yet, and in stepped Melissa to take the reins. Astute fans have pointed out differences in the jawline, and the "new" Avril having fewer freckles. Additionally, several of her lyrics seem to cryptically hint at Avril's death. Give a listen to "Nobody Home" and "Slipped Away" and tell me I'm wrong.
3. The party king, Andrew W.K., is actually several artists.
This one has existed in various forms since 2001. Andrew W.K., the good-natured, good-times rock n' roll king that we all know and love, doesn't actually exist, and is actually a performance piece by several artists. Some say Dave Grohl is behind all of it, while others point to an enigmatic character named "Steev Mike", who is listed as a producer on W.K.'s album I Get Wet
There have been several bizarre occurrences since then, including the time in 2004 when a singer who looked like W.K. but didn't seem like W.K. walked off stage midway through a performance and didn't come back on. There's also the drastic weight loss which seems a bit suspicious. But really, the main question is who is Andrew W.K., and where did he come from? There's not much record of his life before stardom, and he seems to have just appeared as a star overnight in Hollywood. Almost as if it were planned that way…
4. Katy Perry is...the grown up JonBenet Ramsey.
They've both captured the attention of the nation, and now it seems that "they" are just a singular she. JonBenet Ramsey, the 6-year-old girl found dead in the basement of her family's home in 1996, actually is alive, and she grew up to become Katy Perry. Dave Johnson's very convincing Youtube video points out that Ramsey was "sacrificed, in name only". Apparently, that sacrifice was made in order for her to become a star. Admittedly, the jury is still out on this one, as Johnson's main evidence is aging the photo of Ramsey to show her similarities to Perry. I'm still not sold on this one, but don't stop looking over your shoulder.
5. Taylor Swift's new album is chock full of conspiracy clues.
When T. Swift released the music video for "Look What You Made Me Do", conspiracy theories abounded, and for good reason. It seems that some of the not-so-subtle imagery in the video points to sinister things going on. In the video, along with the social media teasers leading up to its release, there are shots left and right featuring a snake. This is not in fact a shot at someone she's beefing with, but an admission to her worship of a reptilian overlord, as Youtuber Truthneversleeps points out. Additionally, eagle-eyed internet users point out that at the three-minute mark in the video, triangles begin to swirl around on the screen which, as one user points out, signifies the downfall and loss of control by the globalists and democrats.
As a 4chan user describes it, "Pizzagate is unraveling, and spiraling out of the globalist's control. Also, right after this sequence, the whole screen flashes yellow for the first time. Yellow is only used sparingly in this video, and only as a reference to goodness or righteously exercised power. The full-screen worldwide flash of yellow means the globalists are losing control of their mind control apparatus. Their poison cloud is about to dissipate". Foreboding indeed.