For years I've been trying to convince people that there was a direct link between my impeccable taste and my towering intellect. Was it any coincidence, I often asked my friends, that I not only breezed through school but had a collection that included such musical luminaries as The Descendents, The Adolescents, FEAR, The Aquabats, They Might be Giants and Pink Floyd (to mention only a few of my favorites)? The evidence was incontrovertible, I found. You didn't see the kids with a mere 21 on the ACT bopping their heads to Kool Keith, no, they were just too busy humming along with whatever the rap-flavor of the week was.
I was, of course, roundly mocked, but who's laughing now, fools? For as Virgil Griffith
, a software application writer, has just revealed, with a very handy chart, that there is a direction correlation between SAT scores and the kind of music we listen to! Never mind that SATs have really only been shown to demonstrate a certain kind of test-taking skills or that we're leaving out all kinds of factors and narrowing it to a very, very specific range (a handful of colleges), no: the important thing is that we of the intelligentsia can now say with pseudo-scientific accuracy that ours is the right taste!
Shit, everyone knows that only smart people listen to Beethoven, Radiohead and Sufjan Stevens, right? Well, this chart agrees, so it's got to be dead-on. And we all know that only a complete mental midget would indulge in substandard fare like Lil' Wayne and Aerosmith and jazz. Wait, what on earth is JAZZ doing in the stupid people section? And John Mayer appeals more to intelligent people than Cake? Something is terribly, terribly wrong with this chart, terribly wrong indeed...
But you decide for yourself with a look below. That's the point of science, after all.