So You're An Indie Festival Flower Child, But You Don't Know Tool
    • THURSDAY, JANUARY 05, 2017

    • Posted by: Jack Labbe

    Have you been researching the perfect pair of sandals since September? Are you finally saying no to the appropriative headdress? Do you talk about how, "I was there during the great Kanye riot of 2016!" Well finally it's that time of year again [Ed's Note: Well it's January. It's not really time. Festivals don't know how to give us a break] and the Governors Ball lineup is out. But wait, there's a minor hiccup, you don't know how to pretend you've always been into Tool!

    You already know to set aside a few cigarettes for Mac Demarco's set, you know that "Cash rules everything around me," you even had your mom press your overalls for Chance the Rapper, but wait, who the fuck is Tool? This is almost as dangerous as when Billy Joel headlined Bonnaroo. I mean, you have to be at least somewhat familiar with the headliner! You can't have people thinking that you're only there for The Head and The Heart! Don't worry dude, we'll get you started.

    First off, Tool is a prog-metal band that was started in the early 1990's. Prog stands for progressive, not the Czech city Prague, so don't claim you first heard these guys while studying abroad. They've released four full length albums since 1993 and are known for their disdain for the media and insistence on privacy. Think Frank Ocean. They've won 3 Grammy's, one of which was for the artwork for their album 10,000 Days. Tool is known for their emphasis on visual art associated with their work, so maybe cop a tee online or tailor your aesthetic to the band. Think trippy stoner blacklight poster.

    If anyone wants to discuss Tool with you, here are a few talking points:

    Who was a better bassist, Justin Chancellor or Paul D'Amour?
    What time signature do you think they're playing in?
    Do you think they'll ever release more music?

    At the end of the day, it still comes down to the music itself. But you're not into head-banging and you haven't seen a mosh pit since Warped Tour in the seventh grade, how will you ever fit in? Just learn a few words to the songs below and practice some head bobbing before June...I'm sure you'll be fine.

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