FRIDAY, JANUARY 20, 2017 |
Posted by: Jack Labbe
Like seriously? The election was in November Mr. Anderson, don't you think it's time you took that damn sign out of your yard? If I have to see your smug little grin, as you back your silverado, into your driveway one more time I'm gonna flip. Don't think you're sly either, everyone can still see the outline where your Jeb! bumper-sticker used to be! Fair-weather fan.
And you know what?! Your son, Michael? Yeah, he was an ass. Football, football, football. That's all I ever got out of that kid. I'm glad he broke his arm Senior year and couldn't play! You know, he used to put me in headlocks every bus ride home, and now he's in the police academy, funny how things work out like that.
Oh, and don't even get me started on Mrs. Anderson. You know what? I'm just gonna do the responsible, patriotic thing on this Inauguration Day and turn my speakers to face his house and give him a little music lesson.
1. Sex Pistols - "Anarchy In The UK"
Bet you didn't know I'm an Anarchist Mr. Anderson! Because I am!
2. Dead Kennedys - "Nazi Punks F*** Off"
Oh, you hate hardcore Mr. Anderson? Well that's just too bad. You and your fascist president can lick my Doc Martins.
3. The Lumineers - "Ho Hey"
I'm just gonna let this one sit on repeat for an hour or so. It's like a never ending Subaru commercial outside your house right now Mr. Anderson, you prick.
4. Against Me! - "Baby, I'm an Anarchist"
So what I don't get all of the references in this song. Guess what Mr. Anderson, I'm an Anarchist and neither you, nor your fascist president can change that. "Make America Great Again"? More like "Make Anarchy Great Again"!
5. Merzbow - "Woodpecker No.1"
Oh, what's that MR. ANDERSON, you don't like harsh noise? Well first off, evolve your plebeian music taste before you come talk to me and secondly, I DON'T CARE!
6. Green Day - "American Idiot"
This is just a classic.
7. Justin Bieber ft. Busta Rhymes - "Drummer Boy"
Christmas music in January? Yup. Still not as out of date as that damn sign of yours. Also I'm sorry to ruin your favorite little christmas tune, but get ready because Justin's about to start rapping!
8. Joey Bada$$ - "Land of the Free"
This one just came out today. So Mr. Anderson looks like you're now up to date on what the kids are listening to. Listen close when he says there are 3 K's in AmeriKKKa.
9. Far East Movement - "Like A G6"
Did you forget how much you hated this song? Ill be sending over reminders all night, don't you worry.
10. Jeezy & Jay-Z - "My President Is Black (Remix)"
Obama is still president in my heart. Donald Trump may work in the oval office but hell never represent me.
11. Bob Dylan - "The Times They Are-A Changin'"
My mom said you smoked a lot of pot in high school, maybe this will get through to you. You old dink.
12. TLC - "No Scrubs"
Sorry Mr. Anderson, but it's time you face it: you're a scrub.
Wow, that feels much better.