They say there are five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. The same stages seem to appear during a break-up too, because you have technically lost a loved one. We all go through break-ups differently, some people hibernate into isolation and wait it out, others throw themselves into the night life and distract the pain away. Whichever routine suits you is fine, but there's no denying these five stages occur in their own due time. So we could all use a helping hand in stepping out of the depression stage and into the empowering stage of acceptance. These songs guarantee to speed up this process and have you back to your strong confident self once more.
1. "Since You Been Gone" - Kelly Clarkson
Oh Kelly, this song was an anthem back in the day and it's still
relevant! It takes you back through the entire relationship and just how stifling it all was, and it's powerful in every way. This is the song that you can scream at the top of your lungs until your voice breaks and your tears of frustration become tears of triumph! Probably the most cathartic song on the list, this is the one you need to let it all out with.
2. "Nobody's Baby Now" - Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds
This is a little bit of a wallowing song, a little bit of self pity in there but it's useful amongst these other tracks. You can either see yourself as Nick Cave or as the woman he's singing about. Either way they're both empowering. Nick's accepting it is over and she's moved on. Whilst the woman has left and embraced her independence away from him. It's definitely a beautiful song and one worth listening to, even if it is just to have a bit of wallow.
3. "You Don't Own Me" - Lesley Gore
Another reminder that you are your own person and you do not take instructions from anyone but yourself! Nobody owns you, no one has the right to dictate what you can or can't do, let alone how you deal with this breakup (except for this list). You're now free to do whatever you like and be whoever you want, so embrace it! This is the song that will give you that boost to get out there and take advantage of this freedom to explore the wild world!
4. "Hold On" - Tom Waits
This is the perfect track for when you've moved on and your significant-ex-other is still hanging on. You can listen to this and take Tom's advice and just hold on, wait it out, and you'll be ok... Eventually. It's a tear jerker, but it's also extremely realistic and a reminder that "you don't meet nice girls in coffee shops." When your ex comes crawling back telling you they're still in love with you, this is your time to stay strong and keep going, don't let them back in (but you can still remain friends...if you can).
5. "You're Not The One" - Sky Ferreira
Sky is here to tell you to not dwell on this ex. They're just not the one, so don't waste your time. Another more suitable match will be coming your way soon enough, you've just got to give it time. Try not to let society's standards get in the way of finding yourself, because maybe "the one" was you all along and no one will be able to compare to your beautiful self!
6. "Yes I'm Changing" - Tame Impala
Kevin Parker is the relationship guru once again with this track. For those of us who are moving onto bigger and better things and had to leave their loved ones behind, this is the track for you. You're allowed to embrace these changes heading your way, let yourself change because that's the only way we can grow. Become the new version of yourself that you have always wanted to be but couldn't quite get there because of your ex. There's nothing wrong with letting the past dwindle, be excited for what's around the corner, because who knows what it could be!
7. "Bad Girls" - M.I.A
This should just be your anthem all the time, but more specifically now, as it encompasses the bad-a$$ attitude you are now living by. Yes you're "leaving boys behind" and living it up with your gals. This is for all of you party goers out there who live life in the faster lanes than us slower paced snails. You don't need anyone but your friends at this point, so appreciate them and use their fearlessness to your advantage.
8. "Killa" - Tune-Yards
Ready or not, this is the song that you need to keep this trajectory going! You are a new person and you're out there to kill it in any way you can (but maybe don't actually kill anyone). The whole track is fresh and funky, exactly the vibe you need to help with the process. Once you've heard this, there's nothing you can't do!
9. "You're So Vain" - Carly Simon
For those of you out there experiencing one of the worst kind of breakups, one with a completely arrogant human being, this is your track! It's snide and vindictive, which is what you're entitled to feel after leaving/being left by someone of those sorts. She articulates the anger which you've been feeling, so it's relatable but also the perfect combination to help you take that extra step into freedom!
10. "You're Not Good Enough" - Blood Orange
This is the track you need to remind yourself you're an amazing human being, and let's face it, no one will ever be good enough for you. This song is the one that will at first make you cry (because it's tough realizing you're too good for everyone) but then it'll give you this newfound confidence to love yourself completely. Dev Hynes, you're a genius and an inspiration to forget about those losers that broke our hearts, giving us the means to become the people we were meant to be, all on our own!
11. "Somebody That I Used To Know" - Gotye ft. Kimbra
This song is heartbreaking. It is a brutal portrayal of a relationship and a reminder that what you've left behind was probably not best for you. It would be nice to think that every break up could result in a nice friendship, but realistically this isn't what always happens. Sometimes your ex will just become a person you used to hang out with, and the love shared will be forgotten. This is all very dark, but the positive thing is that you can look back and see the faults and see that you're better off without all of it.
12. "Survivor" - Destiny's Child
Who better to lead you into the wonderful outside of this relationship than Destiny's Child? They're here to tell you that you are a survivor and this depression isn't going to last forever, you'll be back on your feet in no time! Just keep repeating those lyrics "I'm a survivor I ain't gonna give up" and your wishes will come true. Have a bit of faith in Beyonce, Kelly, and Michelle they know their stuff and they wouldn't lie to you unlike a certain someone...who we won't mention.
13. "Go Your Own Way" - Fleetwood Mac
It's uplifting and empowering and has a great message, but in a nice way. You're letting each other go to live your own journeys. It's hard to realize you're not going on that journey with them but this song helps with that. This track is more of a "setting free" song as you realize it just wasn't meant to be, and whatever comes your way will be unknown but you're excited for it anyway!
14. "Both Sides Now" - Joni Mitchell
Joni Mitchell is probably one of the wisest women on the planet and this song is the perfect example of her wisdom. She uses metaphors in a way that make you feel like it's all about you -- it's that
relatable. It's more of a reflective piece, where you can look back on the relationship and acknowledge its good points and bad points, whilst addressing the things you've learnt. It's a mature way of dealing with it all, which is rare to find in any kind of break up track.
15. "Strong Enough" - Cher
Cher is an inspiration for anyone in every aspect of life. But this track is an inspiration to find that inner strength and keep pushing through! It's the perfect combination of lyrics and melody to get you in the zone of strength and empowerment to get over this break up. You're going to be fine with this woman by your side, guiding you through every moment, and finally in the blissful acceptance you are over them and prepared for whatever is to come.