It's now after noon on New Year's Day, and chances are about 50 percent of us have probably already broken our New Year's resolutions. Maybe you were just too hungover and broke your diet because you couldn't resist a pork roll, egg and cheese (my personal favorite) to cure your headache. Or maybe you got a little hair of the dog during brunch and will have to postpone quitting drinking till next year. Resolutions are tough to keep, and most of us make them tougher by setting lofty unachievable goals.
It certainly seems like Lil Pump
is in that same boat. On Instagram last night, Pump posted a silent video, with a caption that said "btw I don't take xanz no more f*** Xanax 2018. It's a big resolution, and I applaud Pump for making the decision to get off the drug. However, don't count me surprised if we hear about Pump slipping up, he did after all celebrate one million Instagram followers with a cake shaped like a Xanax bar.
Either way, good on Pump for setting a resolution for himself. I can think of quite a few artists who I think should join him, and here's my list of resolutions I think artists should make in 2018.
1. Taylor Swift
Stop the drama. Make an album that doesn't have thinly-veiled callouts of people who don't even mess with her anymore, and keep Kim and Kanye's name out of her mouth.
2. Cardi B
Follow up the success of "Bodak Yellow" with something equally or even more impressing. So far, I think she's on the right track with "Bartier Cardi".
3. Marilyn Manson
Manson should make sure his health insurance is up-to-date before every tour, and maybe should apologize to whatever entity he angered that cursed him with such a lousy 2017.
Eminem had a pretty good 2017, but I'd like to see him make a resolution to put his words into action. Making anti-Trump raps is good and all, but Em should start using his wealth and influence to help oppressed people in 2018. Also, he needs to stop making corny ads promoting his album.
5. Justin Bieber
For the sake of her mother's health, Justin Bieber should break up with Selena Gomez so her poor mother doesn't get hospitalized again over him.
6. Julia Michaels
Julia Michaels absolutely killed it in her breakout year in 2017, and needs to keep the momentum rolling in 2018. As talented as she is, she needs to make a resolution to work only for herself, instead of playing the background role to others.
7. Weezer/Rivers Cuomo
Rivers Cuomo needs to sit down and think twice about what he's about to do the next time he steps into the studio to record something. Pacific Daydream
was a bust, and if there's one resolution Cuomo and company can make, it's to ask themselves if they really want to make something like it again.
Jay needs to count his blessings, and make a resolution to treat Beyonce like the queen she is for not dumping him after his infidelities were revealed in 2018.
9. Post Malone
Post Malone needs a bit of humble pie in 2018, and needs to be thankful for what hip-hop has given him. After trash talking rap and hip-hop in 2017, in 2018 he should work on being more appreciative of what music has given him.
10. Every male artist everywhere
In 2018 we really need every male musician to make a resolution to better themselves and the communities they occupy. 2017 was a year of reckoning for sexual abusers and criminals, and as empowering as it was to see women get justice, the situation should never have existed in the first place. Male artists need to hold themselves and their peers to higher standards in 2018.