THURSDAY, JANUARY 01, 2015 |
Posted by: Rebecca Chodorkoff
♥☻Your Hangover Mixtape☻♥
1. The Red Wine Hangover. Classic Sunday ladies night after a long weekend: you each tell yourself "I'm not going to drink tonight, I'll just have a couple of glasses of wine." (because we all know that wine doesnt count as alcohol, it's your lifeblood and you need it and it's good for you.) Fast-forward to Monday morning and you are struggling. You're groggy, you're foggy, and all that Red made you real, real "Blue".
2. The I'm Not Hungover At All How Is This Physically Possible I Am a God Among Men, hangover. Last night you drank like a fucking boss. You took tequila shots left and right. You danced like nobody's business. You wake up the next day, fully expecting to nurse your throbbing head until darkness mercifully hits, and yet, YOU WAKE UP FEELING LIKE A MILLION BUCKS. How? You woke up like this. Flawless.
3. The It Feels So Good To Feel This Bad hangover. Woops— you hooked up with your ex last night. You wake up in a deep shame spiral. You're miserable, you're disgusted with yourself, yet you're also somehow simultaneously pleased with your unforgivable mistake. You deserve this hangover. You welcome the misery.
4.The No Apologies hangover. So you messed up. You yelled at your friend and you ignored your date. You gave that bartender your number even though he didn't ask. Whatever, everybody makes mistakes! You're YOU and you'll do what you want when you want to. It's time to go get a bagel and do it all over again. Because you're not just a bitch, you're oh so many things.
5. The Birthday hangover. Free drink after free drink after free drink after free drink after free drink after free drink after free drink...you're paying the price now, but was it worth it? Hell yeah, it's your birthday goddammit.
6. The I'm Young So Fuck It Hangover. What is the point of life if you never look back and say "I was young and stupid and vain and drunk." So enjoy it while it lasts, put this song on repeat, and replay the highlights of last night in your head. At least the parts you can remember.
7.The Please Rip My Brains Out hangover. This one is going for keeps. All you can do is lie in bed, writhe in pain, and hope you don't puke your face off. Just accept it, what will be will be. You're never drinking again.