The Worst Record Of All Time
  • MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 24, 2012

  • Posted by: Joe Puglisi

Baeble devotees will recall, from time to time, we used to embark on a painful and mind-numbing journey to try and find the worst album of all time. It's been a while! While the candidates have ranged from misguided PSA to actually terrifying amount of gravitas to unlistenable, we still haven't quite found our winner. UNTIL TODAY. I am very sorry after penning nine of these torture chamber posts to be subjecting all of your ears to one more travesty, but it must be done. The people MUST KNOW. Today's contestant is one of the most polarizing albums of all time. Frank Zappa loved it. Kurt Cobain put it in his top 5 favorite albums of all time. And it's a professionally recorded series of songs, with guitars, bass, drums, and vocals, released by RCA Victor in 1980. Sounds great, right?

Ladies and Gentlemen, Nominee #9: The Shaggs, Philosophy of The World.



Now, I know what you're thinking. Without this blatant disregard for human decency, we wouldn't have some of the odd rock we've come to love over the decades, like Talking Heads and the entire twee movement. Or maybe you're thinking that suicide is looking mighty enticing today. Well don't think either of these things, because those are CRAZY THOUGHTS. Please tell me you don't think this recording is important because it "influenced" "geniuses" to "create." This is complete nonsense and I won't allow it to be aggrandized in such a manner.

But that is not the conclusion I came to after exploring The Shagg's Philosophy of The World album. No, it proved two very important points about the value of music. Everything is made up and the points don't matter.

There can be no worst record of all time, because no matter how horrendous, how painstakingly terrible, someone will come galloping out of the shadows to defend it. The worst record of all time is a macguffin. It's time to give up the hunt, because we've either definitely found it, or it can never exist. I mean, listen to this!



Kurt Cobain's fifth favorite album of all time. This. The search is dead. Rock and roll is dead. The Shaggs killed my dog.



READ ALL THE OTHER WORST RECORDS:

Paris Hilton, Paris
Baja Men, Who Let The Dogs Out?
Dee Dee King, Standing In The Spotlight
Nickelback, Silverside Up
Kevin Federline, Playing With Fire
Ali And His Gang Vs. Mr. Tooth Decay
Hulk Hogan, Hulk Rules!
Lou Reed, Metal Machine Music





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