The floor at Terminal 5 on Tuesday night was storming with months of pent up anticipation; Die Antwoord
—who cancelled their June shows in NYC—was about to come on stage, and off the leash. An innocent looking blonde girl started the first mosh pit, and then the first brawl, before the opening DJ was half way through his set. A nine-year-old hung over the guard rail of the photo pit plotting how to make contact with one of the 10 balloons that were already being violently punched around the room. A petite brunette resembling Leighton Meister screamed 'Fuck me in the ass,' a twist on Antwoord lyrics, from beside her punk ass white boy. The room was a Bacchic purge fest trying not to prematurely blow it's load.
The lights finally went down—which only agitated the crowd more, and then the foreplay started. The distorted characters of Die Antwoord's creepy cannon lit the stage from their post on the back screen, and Zef killer-kitten Yolandi's cries taunted the crowd for just a breath under riot-breaking length.
BOOM, Hi-Tek is at the table, BOOM. Terrifying silence—a moment ago this crowd was seconds from igniting the apocalypse. "DJ HI-TEK WILL FUCK YOU IN THE ASS/FUCK YOU IN THE ASS/YOU PUNK ASS WHITE BOY," stupefied silence, and Yolandi and Ninja creep out from stage right, "FOK JULLE NAAIERS/FOK JULLE NAAIERS/FOK JULLE/FOK JULLE/FOK JULLE NAAIERS".
There was no build, no climax, and no finale. The show opened at 10 and fucking stayed there. Characters and costumes from every major video showed up, including Pitbull Terrier. Yolandi stood still one time. Ninja shook his enormous cock—a single layer of cotton wasn't intended to obscure that— at the audience, and didn't blink, like, at all. Mother fucker has an absolutely titillating death stare. The crowd got Ninja surfed, a psychotic fan got cruelly close to having her face sucked, and that nine-year-old boy got a cold stare and a Zef gangster hug from his idol.
If you're into Die Antwoord, see them live. If you're not into Die Antwoord, see them live. If you don't know what you're into, see Die Antwoord live. You will not feel nothing.
I got a few more photos before my camera joined in the Zef and told me to go fuck myself: