That screaming sound you heard this morning wasn't a prelude to the October apocalypse: it was just a hundred thousand tweenage girls watching the new Justin Beiber music video for the 80th time. If this video for his latest, "As Long As You Love Me" is any indication, the Biebs has really matured. We know this cause there are lots of dark themes, furrowed brows, and one bloody nose!

Apparently, the Biebs is just not boyfriend material, at least according to his girl's father, (a weary Michael Madsen, of Resevoir Dogs) who you know has good taste based on his orange rimmed sunglasses. Biebs takes the moral high-ground, retorting, "You don't know us."

The fun don't stop there, though. Justin is, in the grand tradition of overly dramatic teen romance, abandoned at the train station, and that's where his slick moves and superman stair-descending begins. We won't spoil the rest of this modern-day Romeo's struggle. Check it out below.