WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 01, 2012 |
Posted by: Amanda Scherker
As the 2012 Presidential Campaign enters it's final quarter-year windup, we remain, as always, completely a-political(ish). Seriously, it doesn't matter who you vote for, as long as you do your part to help our beautiful democracy blossom (by voting for the RIGHT person.....). Kidding. We'll leave the social and economical debates to the 24-hour news cycle, and stick to what we do best, by offering you five brutally honest campaign songs that the incumbent camp will definitely not be considering.
1. Edith Piaf, "Je Ne Regrette Rien"
It's apology kingdom for our poor, greying president. You can pull out of Iraq, pass health care reform, kill Bin Laden, but you still can't please everyone. Sure, job growth ain't what it could be, but you're just the President, man, not the national nanny. Hold your head high and let Edith tell 'em what's what.
2. The Animals, "Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood"
His ode to the tongue twisters over at Fox News, as well as the now-deceased birther movement of yore. He may be one of the most articulate voices of a generation, but this song will remind us less-academic Americans that even Barack's words can run away from him.
3. The Clash - "Should I Stay or Should I Go?"
What's it gonna be, 'Merica?
4. The Beatles, "Don't Let Me Down"
A desperate plea to the young 'uns who used to call Obama Superman. "Please, please don't go bar crawling on Election Day eve. Please, you impatient bastards, suffer through the line at your local public school. I got you health care till you're 26, remember? C'mon, throw me a bone, kids."
5. Mariah Carey, "You Need Me"
If all else fails, make like a Republic and resort to boldface fear tactics.
Now, when the Obama campaign selects the predictable song about hope and change and... consistency? -- there really is nothing radical about re-election campaigns, huh -- you can ignore it and check out our straight-talk-express soundtrack. And then vote accordingly on November 4th.