Robin Thicke's New Album Is a Catastrophic Failure
  • TUESDAY, JULY 08, 2014

  • Posted by: Jason Wien

In light of the news that Americanadian artist Robin Thicke's latest album sold no more than 530 copies in the UK and only 25,000 in the US in its first week, we'd like to take a moment to ask: Who will be the one to show the stilted artist how to land properly as he plummets three-million feet back from grace to his career-ending demise? To give you some perspective, the numbers go something like this: In 2013, Thicke's Blurred Lines sold nearly 177,000 copies in the US during it's first week. In its second week, it sold 65,000. In its third week, 48,000. In its forth, 46,000. Do you see where we're going with this?

Thicke's seventh album, Paula, which was released last week, was supposed to be an ode to his estranged wife — a way to "Get Her Back" after a strenuous split. However, due to Thicke putting his career on the back-burner to focus solely on winning his lover back, as well as the slightly-pervy accusations of his 2013 chart topper "Blurred Lines", poor Robin has officially gotten himself sucked into an infinitely deep black hole.

Part of me wants to believe that Thicke had this coming to him. A sort of wake-up call stating that you can't be too pretentious when you're writing an album devoted to how good you once had it. But now I just feel sorry for the guy. I mean, if you bare your entire soul in hopes of winning the love of your life back, and then all of your fans as well as the girl you're singing about refuse to purchase the album, what's next? Do you keep going? Any other guy would've had friends aggressively shaking his shoulders and yelling "stop all this shit, man, you're being ridiculous," but at this point it's uncertain how many people are still on his side.

Word of advice for the too-conceited-to-care Robin Thicke: no means no, bro. Just back off and find a new obsession.

Listen to the Thicke's cringe-tastic "Get Her Back" below:

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