5 Reasons MTV Should Bring Back Celebrity Deathmatch
  • FRIDAY, JULY 26, 2013

  • Posted by: David Spelman

MTV's Celebrity Deathmatch was a staple of late-90s television, allowing for the fantasy of having two (or more) famous people fight in an anything goes battle to the death by putting them in a claymation boxing ring. Who could forget the classic Noel vs Liam Gallagher fight that ended with prop comedian Gallagher smashing their heads like melons? These days, it seems like a lot of musicians are holding grudges with a lot of hostility. And MTV sure could take a break from glamorizing America's ugliest, to make something pop culture relevant. So here's our list of musical feuds we'd like to see played out in a claymation arena. Take the hint MTV!

Lana Del Rey vs Lady Gaga


The Rivalry: After a Lana Del Rey track from 2009 leaked with lyrics "You're looking like a man, you're talking like a baby / How the fuck is your song in a Coke commercial, crazy?", fellow New Yorker Lady Gaga is probably pretty pissed off.

How The Match Would Play Out: With Lady Gaga's anti-bullying stance really holding her back, Lana Del Rey surprisingly does not take advantage, instead remaining emotionless in her corner. Suddenly, starved for attention CD veteran Madonna steps into the ring and takes them both out in a bloody rampage in an attempt at proving to the world that she's still relevant.




Chris Brown vs Frank Ocean


The Rivalry: Starting on Twitter and eventually playing out in a minor parking lot skirmish, Ocean is set to diss Brown again on a remix of Migos' "Versace", based on a Tumblr post containing song lyrics including "You could stay seated I'm taking that Grammy".

How The Match Would Play Out: Employing his classic hit-and-run style, Brown takes the early lead before Frank Ocean takes out the black Glock he references in "She" and fires back. He then tags in Drake to finish the job, who previously beefed with Brown in a nightclub last summer.


Tyler, The Creator vs Tegan and Sara


The Rivalry: Tyler, The Creator is known for writing some pretty misogynistic, homophobic songs, and whether his lyrics are 100 percent serious or not, Tegan and Sara took offense and posted a very well-written letter about it on their website. In typical fashion, Tyler, The Creator tweeted "If Tegan And Sara Need Some Hard D**k, Hit Me Up!" in response.

How The Match Would Play Out: CAGE MATCH. Tyler does not fare as well as fellow OFWGKTA member Frank Ocean did, as he is nothing without his Golf Wang crew to back him up. Tegan and Sara throw objectification to the wind, enlisting the help of the Bella Twins to defeat Tyler in a 4 on 1 barbed wire massacre.


Wavves and No Age and Glee vs Kings of Leon


The Rivalry: Wavves is mad at Kings of Leon for naming new single "Supersoaker" like the surf rock band did back on King of the Beach, No Age thinks KoL ripped off their t-shirt design, and Glee was ticked off that the Followills wouldn't allow the use of their songs on the show.

How The Match Would Play Out: In three fairly stupid disputes, Kings of Leon aren't really in the wrong. Song titles are recycled all the time, the shirts don't like that identical and no self-respecting rock band would let their stuff be on Glee. So, the good ol' southern boys get liquored up on cheap whiskey and beat up some California rockers. And the Glee guy.


Crystal Castles and Fucked Up and Lily Allen vs Katy Perry


The Rivalry: Crystal Castles believes Katy Perry gives women a bad name with her overly sexual music videos, lead singer Pink Eyes of Fucked Up wants her dead for playfully dressing in army gear and Lily Allen is peeved about Perry calling her fat.

How The Match Would Play Out: Despite Perry exchanging her trademark cupcake bra for the use of an Austin Powers-style machine gun one, this match does not end well for the "Wide Awake" singer. With Crystal Castles and Lily Allen holding her down, Pink Eyes delivers a Big Show-style body slam for the KO.

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