The Best and Worst Musicians In Professional Sports
  • FRIDAY, JULY 19, 2013

  • Posted by: Austin Knief

Professional athletes have grueling and demanding schedules. Between training sessions in the weight room, practices, games, and cashing their multi-million dollar checks in at the bank, it's hard to imagine them having any free time during the season. But have you ever wondered what hobbies they take up in the off-season? We have, and we've done some detective work to find that many of these physical-specimens also find solace in the world of music. Not surprisingly, there is a reason why most of these men chose the signing bonus over pursuing a record deal. Fortunately for us, the Internet (of course) has audio proof of their artistic attempts so that we may still laugh at their expense. In fact, a few of these sportsmen even showed us they have a bit of talent residing beneath their uniforms. Here's our list of athletic musicians (and we use the word "musicians" very loosely), from the good to the bad and the ugly.

THE BAD


Jason Kidd
The newly anointed head coach of the Brooklyn Nets once decided that being an all star point guard wasn't fulfilling enough. In 1994, he released the track "What The Kidd Did", which sounds like a cheap west coast Snoop and Dre imitation. If I'm in control of the music at The Barclays Center, I'm playing this LOUD during opening day tip-off. That'd be a fitting introduction to J-Kidd's new head coaching career.



Randy Savage
"I'm gonna kick you in the butt and wash your mouth out with soap." This is an actual line used in an actual song by "Macho Man" Randy Savage. Apparently, as you can see in the video below, Savage directed the disses in this rap track at WWE legend Hulk Hogan. As if being a professional wrestler wasn't laughable enough, Savage had to go and make an abomination like this. And on top of that, all of these "disses" are hollow threats considering everyone knows the WWE fights are fakes to begin with (sorry kids). RIP.



Tony Parker
Nothing against the French, but there is something about rap in a different language that hits a funny bone with us here in the States. Even more so when that rapper is San Antonio Spurs point-guard Tony Parker. Shockingly, this song was actually a club hit in his native France, so I guess you can't knock him too hard. But if you're telling me this is what landed him Eva Longoria, I'm not buying it.



Clint Dempsey
White rappers are largely an anomaly in the music business. Especially when that white rapper is a soccer player from Texas. Regardless of his background, U.S. Soccer star Clint Dempsey feels he's hard enough for hip-hop. The best part about this music video is the phone conversation and intro speech in the beginning of the song. Talk about putting on a fake act. Look up one of Dempsey's interviews (he doesn't actually talk like that). Apparently, his homies call him "Deuce."



Deion Sanders
As the entire country knows by now, Deion "Prime Time" Sanders is not one to shy away from a camera (or a recording studio, in this case). Believe it or not, his dive into music involved him rapping about money. The "Must Be The Money" music video features Prime Time sporting some of the most ridiculous outfits you'll ever see. And it looks like he does his own choreography as well. While Sanders' transition from the NFL to Major League Baseball was a successful one, it's hard to say the same of his rap venture.



Golf Boys
PGA bad boys Bubba Watson, Rickie Fowler, Hunter Mahan, and Ben Crane deemed it appropriate to trade their golf clubs for microphones back in 2011. One of the oddest foursomes ever to spit lines, these pros actually made several music videos that received plenty of online recognition. While the songs and videos are clearly a joke (let's hope), that does not change the fact that their rap skills are abysmal. In addition, this may be the only place on the Internet that you'll find Rickie Fowler wearing more ridiculous clothes than he does on the golf course.



1985 Bears
Perhaps one of the most legendary of the athletic tunes is "The Super Bowl Shuffle". After winning the 1985 Super Bowl, the Chicago Bears pulled one of the biggest power moves in sports history. They created a song and dance to commemorate their domination. Unfortunately, Coach Mike Ditka was not present, so we can't quite say the video reached it's potential. Although the song itself is garbage, it's hysterically funny to watch some of these old-school white players try rapping. Da Bears remarkably got nominated for a Grammy award after the song's release, making them the only professional sports team to have that under their belt. Nonetheless, we're glad Ditka kept their focus on the field and not on the stage.


Chicago Bears - Superbowl Shuffle by jpdc11


Manny Pacquiao
While Manny Pacquiao is fearsome in the boxing ring, he's as soft as baby thighs in the recording studio (although I dont think that's where the phrase "Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee" comes from). Pacquiao's voice isn't half bad, but watching him gently sing the lyrics to "Sometimes When We Touch", coupled with his accent, is pretty damn funny. But don't tell him I said that. Please.




THE GOOD


Bronson Arroyo
You may remember Bronson as the guy with the cornrows when the Red Sox won the World Series back in 2004. Yes, he looked absolutely ridiculous (Yankee fans will be the first to tell you), but truth be told, this guy is talented. When he's not slinging fastballs for his current team, the Cincinnati Reds, Arroyo frequently plays guitar and sings at venues around the country. His debut album, Covering the Bases, features covers of songs by Pearl Jam, Alice In Chains, and Incubus, among others. Check out his cover of the Goo Goo Dolls' "Slide".



Henrik Lundquist
The human brick wall for the New York Rangers (otherwise known as King Henrik) is known for being a guitar enthusiast. While he prefers to keep it strictly as a hobby, he does occasionally team up with tennis legend John McEnroe to form their band, The Noise Upstairs. You can check out the two superstars playing together on YouTube if you so desire. But let's try to maintain focus on hockey, Henrik. New York wants the cup. Check out the Swedish goaltender shredding out "Sweet Child O' Mine" on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon.



John Daly
The most interesting man in professional golf, hands down, is John Daly. And when the guy isn't showing up to the golf course high or drunk, he can play with the best of them. What you probably didn't know is that Daly is an extraordinarily talented musician as well. His album, I Only Know One Way, features both covers and original material (and is available for purchase on iTunes). If the whole golf/staying sober thing doesn't work out, he at least has something to fall back on. Here's a clip of his "Knockin' On Heaven's Door" cover.



Bernie Williams
Turns out the former Yankee center fielder, Bernie Williams, had been carrying his guitar along with him on the road for all of those years. Bernie is no joke either. He is a classically trained musician who is signed to Paul McCartney's publishing company MPL Communications. In September of 2009, his second album, Moving Forward, was nominated for a Latin Grammy Award. While his talents do not include singing, his jaw-dropping guitar skills prove to be more than enough. Watch him perform a song from his newest album on The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson.



Shaquille ONeal
Well we couldn't leave all of the rap attempts off of the "Good" list, so Shaq's emcee abilities will make the cut. As a matter of fact, the man of a thousand nicknames had a rather successful music career. His 1993 album Shaq Diesel actually received platinum certification. And to his credit, he never stopped trying to improve. The Shaqtus has released five studio albums to date, and was even featured on Michael Jackson's 1995 song "2 Bad". Add his music success to the various acting roles he's had (c'mon, you know Kazaam was an awesome movie) and you can consider Shaq to be a dominant force on and off the basketball court. One might even consider his career to be Shaqtastic.



So there you have it. While there are certainly no Tupacs or Cobains in the group, there's no complete loss for talent either. Regardless, the moral of the story is without a doubt: Just because you are famous doesn't mean you can rap.

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