Thinkin' aboot Canada's Polaris Prize has got me all in a tizzy. And by tizzy, I mean, naturally, that I have spent all morning Googling funny Canadian stereotypes (there is a disturbing amount of contention on the interwebs as to whether Canadians live in igloos or not. I blame South Park). Anyway, in case you don't know, our maple-syrup lovin' neighbors to the north have taken to awarding their most talented musician annually with 30,000 Canadian dollars. (Hey, let's not worry about exchange rates at a time like this!)
Here at Baeble, we're celebrating all this unimposing, non-boisterous Canadian pride with a completely unscientific collection of superlatives, below:
1. Most Likely to Succeed
Japandroids seemingly have the tri-fecta: indie-rocker credibility, shout n' dance-worthy beats, and, not least of all, official Baeble approval
. Thus, we're willing to stake either our money or our pride (whichever comes cheaper) on this rock duo's shot at taking it all. Plus, they already won our hearts when we filmed them at Pianos
2. Least Likely to Give a F-ck
Well, Canada just proved itself a lot cooler than its higher-BMI friends across the border by nominating hip-to-the-millisecond Montreal indie-dance queen Grimes, for her album Visions
. We'll name her as a top contender, easily, for achieving world-wide fame without sacrificing indie-cred. That said, this avant-pop chick made her first music video by photo-bombing a high school football game and dirt bike racing stadium, so accepting a national award seems a bit square. Like, isn't there a warehouse party she should be busy DJing at?
3. Least Cable Appropriate
Previous winners, F-cked Up, hilariously shaved ten years off the life of the Polaris Live Show editor when their four-letter-word-inspired band name was formally awarded the 2009 Polaris Prize by a squeamish, but thoroughly seduced, jury. These hard rockers have a serious following -- the likes of which will probably be yelling far more blush-worthy expletives if these screaming songbirds get shafted.
4. The "Swagga' Can't Win It All" Honorable Mention
What hip-hopper Drake lacks in indie credibility, he makes up for in big talk and bigger game. That said, the Polaris grand jury can't escape the delightful snobbery of their French ancestors, making this supernaturally-popular bling-dripping rapper's Take Care
a long shot. It's okay, Drake, we'll always have Toronto!
That's our Sparknotes version of the race, as is. We'll have to wait till September 24th to find out which of our dog-sleddin', beer-chuggin' faves scored the big bucks.
The complete shortlist:
Cadence Weapon Hope in Dirt City
Cold Specks I Predict a Graceful Expulsion
Drake Take Care
Kathleen Edwards Voyageur
F-cked Up David Comes to Life
Handsome Furs Sound Kapital
Japandroids Celebration Rock
Yamantaka // Sonic Titan YT//ST