Remember that time you and your family took a Royal Caribbean cruise to the Bahamas? Okay, now picture that trip, minus your parents and plus Hot Chip, Yeasayer, Sleigh Bells, and Girl Talk. That's basically what
S.S. Coachella is. After a whole lot of grumbling and rumoring,
Goldenvoice finally confirmed that yes, there will be a nautical version of
Coachella, in two voyages on 12/16-19 and 12/19-23.
On the horizon of an entertainment tax in Indio, CA, Goldenvoice was
already threatening to leave their usual venue. And with music cruises like
EDM and
Port Paradise displaying success, it appears that Goldenvoice has jumped on the bandwagon as a final declaration of "We mean business" to California legislature. But they may just be tarnishing Coachella's image even more.
I know what you're thinking -- yes, it's right before Christmas, so you can just use your bonus or get your parents to pay for you to go. But hold your horses. S.S. Coachella only
starts at $500 per person, which is the price you'll pay if you squish four people into an inside stateroom (the rooms with no windows). From there the prices escalate all the way up $1,500 per person, and there are even some suite rooms with unpublished price tags. For some reason, I'm thinking that the kids who actually listen to Girl Talk aren't going to make it onto this ship, which is called the
Celebrity Silhouette (not kidding). This sort of reminds me of those
huge high-rises on the water in Williamsburg.
The lineup itself is, in classic Coachella form,
maybe worth the life savings. Besides the artists mentioned above, you'll also be sailing the seas with Cloud Nothings, El-P, Grimes, and James Murphy, among others. We wonder how this will work, though. Because at a regular music festival, you can be an indie rock type and nitpick what bands you're going to see. But when you're stuck on a ship, are you sort of forced to see Z-Trip and rappers like Killer Mike? Do you just go to the
casino or one of the twelve restaurants on the ship while those guys are playing? It seems like Goldenvoice is forcing worlds to collide on the open ocean here.
But at least now it's official, Coachella is definitely more about the event than the music. But still, can we get some press passes?
Check out the full lineup (as of now) right
here.