Making fun of Paris Hilton's failed attempts to be an artist is kind of like hitting an empty pinata, ya know? At best, it's boring, and at worst, it's frickin' depressing. So, instead of clawing into her recent diamond-studded debut as a "DJ" of sorts, we've taken the time to uncover from the depths of pop culture's depravity 5 famous- people-absurdly-turned-Disk Jockey.
So without further ado, let the bass drop:
1. DJ Frodo
It's Elijah Wood v. the world, and he's out to prove that Hobbits got swagga too or something. It's actually kind of hard to know what he trying to prove. Either way, he was reppin' Middle Earth (last LOTR reference, promise) all over Coachella pool parties. Rumor has it that his tracks were something less than face-melting. Stick to what you know, dude. You're pretty good at it.
2. Prince Harry
England's swooning over their "hippest" royal (although, like really, who's his competition? Princess Beatrice of York?)Purportedly, the young Prince of Wales is quite a fixture on the night life scene. While politely makin' it rain all over London, he met famed beat maker Ben Bridgewater, who gave him a quick DJ 101 and filled his iPod with certifiably hip tracks. Now that he knows how to use turntables, he loves showing off for his friends, who subsequently act super impressed rather than get beheaded. Kidding! Long live, bro.
3. Macaulay Culkin
Everybody's favorite child star has a new gig as the laziest DJ in the world! Thursday night at a swanky NYC club, Macualay plays host to his very own "Macaulay Culkin's iPod party," where his adoring and/or ironic fans get to dance to the same tunes that pulse through his ear-buds each and every day. Cute that he doesn't try too hard sweating over turn tables he doesn't know how to use. But if we got a duel act going with Haley Joel Osment -- man, then we'd really have a show. Next Baeblemusic sesh, anyone?
4. Agyness Deyn
The British model is assuredly glam and fabulous. She is also paid a lot of money to guest DJ at glam and fabulous parties. Does she do something besides stand around with headphones on laughing at the fools paying her 5 figures? Or is this her real dream? Will she quit her boring modeling day job to pursue a career the shaky, unstable world of celebrity DJing? We have so many questions.
5. DJ Pauly D
Alright, we couldn't resist. It's a cliche, but maybe if people hear about it enough, they'll get so sick of the orange goon and he'll go away. Cause right now, night clubs are paying top dollar so their patrons can fist-pump to his tracks. Basically, if DJ Pauly D was paid in tequila shots, he could fill the entire Pacific Ocean with last year's paycheck.
It's a tough time to be a really talented Disc Jockey and have everybody act as if your job is as intuitive as riding a bike. So really, when you consider her company, P-Hilton comes out looking less embarrassing than usual! Celebrity DJing is the new celebrity clothing line! The only surprising thing is that it's taken the ever-wily Ms. Hilton this long to take a crack at it.