MONDAY, JUNE 23, 2014 |
Posted by: K. Hess
According to the media Robin Thicke is a few things: a Lothario, on his way to being divorced, and very sad about it. Turns out he's also an idiot. The singer — who recently announced a split from his longtime love Paula Patton — has been very vocal in his attempts to win her back. He titled his forthcoming album Paula, and the feature track off his forthcoming album "Get Her Back". He even opened a concert with this new single and asked the audience to please "help me get her back". Fine, I get it, it's a gesture — it's more of a stunt than a gesture, but hey, romance is subjective.
His video for the bleeding heart ballad, less subjective. Thicke's got blood and bruises on his frowning face and a bare chest, looking ever the victim as anonymous messages of warning and regret flash across the screen. You know again, like, he knows the woman, maybe she finds the whole take-pity-on-me thing charming. I prefer a little more dignity, but Beyonce hasn't died and made me queen yet so like, what do I know?
Oh, hold on, I'm pretty sure I know that the sliced in footage of a gorgeous naked woman and her gorgeous naked body and your not so gorgeous hand stroking the curve of her gorgeous naked back is not going to help you "Get Her Back". Dude, if you really want her back then put on a fucking shirt, get down on your knees, and re-release "Lost Without U" with a heartfelt handwritten letter of apology. I mean you have "Lost Without U" in your back pocket, like, how did you fuck this one up? Who is giving you advice? Fire them. Idiot.
Watch the video for "Get Her Back" below, and see what Robin Thicke did: promise to continue touching gorgeous naked women who aren't his wife.
Now let's watch what Robin Thicke should have done: reminded us all of that suit wearing, wife-loving, falsetto singing man who was just "Lost Without U" Paula.