Okay, fine, the lineup isn't as "dope" as organizers are claiming, but the fest's host is the incredible, Pauly Shore, "buuuuuuuddy!" Regardless of the short bill of artists, if your '90s nostalgia is absolutely raging on a regular basis, then you need to bust out your butterfly claw clips and pocket your Walkman, because god dammit, shit's about to GO DOWN.
On September 12th, you can bask in the vintage glory of Smash Mouth, Salt-N-Pepa, Coolio
, and Lisa Loeb
, and although nothing thrills me more than the thought of rapping every single word of "Gangsta's Paradise" in the same way I rapped every single word of "Gangsta's Paradise" in my mom's finished, suburban basement, the lineup is still missing countless indispensables.
Where are you Natalie Imbruglia
? You still "Torn" between the left and the middle? And what about you Meredith Brooks
, are you still in fact, "a bitch," "a mother," and "a saint"? Has Joan Osborne
finally figured out if God was just "a slob" "on the bus?" And you, Shawn Colvin
, how the hell is Sunny? She still home? Flying out of her goddamn mind as usual? And what about that beloved Cardigans
stalker anthem, "Love Fool" did you listen to your mother, ditch that loser and move on with your petty existence??? More importantly, has anyone offered Marcy Playground
some Febreeze yet???
I have questions and you know what? I'm guessing you do too, and even though it's not nearly enough, all the answers I'm at liberty to give, can be found in the videos below:
THE CARDIGANS - "LOVE FOOL"
NATALIE IMBRUGLIA - "TORN"
MEREDITH BROOKS - "BITCH"
JOAN OSBORNE - "ONE OF US"
SHAWN COLVIN - "SUNNY CAME HOME"
MARCY PLAYGROUND - "SEX AND CANDY"
The '90s fest will be taking place in Jackson, NJ, Columbus, OH, New York, NY, and Pittsburgh, PA, with tickets
on sale now!