top five things to expect at a music festival
  • TUESDAY, MAY 25, 2010

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Summer is a time for many awesome things (duh, NERDS). And this coming Memorial Day (5/31/2010) heralds in another season full of drinking, carousing, outdoor fisticuffs, and of course, the elusive music festival season. While there is a large plethora of choices when it comes to music fests, from the hip to the square, bluegrass heavy, and just plain hippie-d out, there are a few things you should prepare for, because they are as innevitable as death and taxes at these things. Read on, brave sunscreener!

Now, we all know to expect music, a duh. And good times, and lots of sun, probably some port-o-potties, and food, some edible, some questionable. BUT, there are other things you need to prepare for that you may not have thought of yet! And so we go, into the festival abyss, nothing but the pants around our ankles, and two to four days of haze (no pun intended, seriously, DEA).

"The Line-Up" [via College Humor]:


Full disclosure: admittedly most of these video examples are from the king of dirty hippie festivals, Bonnaroo. Especially the last one may only apply to the big B.

DANCING

There will be intoxicated, drugged up, and hilariously awkward shirtless dancing.



MUD

There will be intoxicated, drugged up, and hilariously awkward shirtless dancing IN MUD.




SUBSTANCE ABUSE, AND GETTING CAUGHT BY OTHERS

There will be a hilariously awkward, messed up dudes getting detained by people for being too f*cked up, and there will be plenty of budget cameras to capture the action and laugh at his expense. Don't forget your Flip!



PUBLIC URINATION

People are going to pee. In jugs. Over your head. Deal with it. Portable latrines have long lines, and people are drunk.



THINGS TO ENTERTAIN PEOPLE WHO ARE MESSED UP

And finally, and sometimes most surprisingly, there will be things SPECIFICALLY TO ENTERTAIN PEOPLE ON HALLUCIONAGENS. Best (and most favorite) example, The Sonic Forest. Fun for the whole family (of fungi). There is literally nothing more hilarious than the existence of the Sonic Forest. Except maybe the existence of Booty Pop.



See you in the mud! -joe puglisi
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