There is nothing that saddens me more than when the dreamboats of my childhood are seen through my adult-age eyes, only to reveal them for their truthful existence: seriously sucking. I thought I would always be loyal to the Backstreet Boys. They were my first concert in sixth grade, and you may not be aware but love like that never dies, okay? But now, ten years later, the unthinkable has happened. They teamed up with a boy band group so far past its prime that I (at age 21) don't have any memory of their original music at all. This collaboration, though clearly ridiculous, so far had proven to be mildly successful with their catchy single "Don't Turn Out the Lights". I guess the ten year old in me still allowed Nick Carter's I'm-going-to-pull-off-my-jacket tease blind my ability to sense autotune at its most decieving. Last night, however, everything changed. The wonder group NKOTBSB performed "Don't Turn Out the Lights" live on Dancing with The Stars, and it suddenly became clear how much horror autotune could truly mask.
Everything about this performance screams wrong. There are about eight too many men on stage, all around fifteen years too old, peforming at least 30 too many dance movies. I can't even remember the last time I saw so many dance formation shifts take place since the mythical days when Justin Timberlake was in N'SYNC. And I can't even begin to comment on the singing quality. Really?! You've been doing this for nearly two decades! This performance may not surprise many of you, but excuse me while idealistic visions of my childhood heartthrobs are shattered.
Watch the unneccesary comeback of the year, NKOTBSB, attempt a performance of their new single "Don't Turn Out the Lights" below on last night's Dancing With The Stars, begging the question: "Why?"