the assassination of jessie j
  • FRIDAY, MARCH 25, 2011

  • Posted by: Siobhan Fludder

The debut of Jessie J's musical career as a solo artist, following her song writing work on radio hits such as "Party in the USA", came to a screeching halt as an army of critics stood lock-armed in front of the line of acceptable music, refusing point blank to allow her access to any genuine credibility. To put it kindly, Jessie J is simply a girl with a talented voice and some misdirected attitude, who has allowed today's idea of image marketing swallow her whole. She seems to have studied the appeal of today's biggest pop stars and thrown these ideas together with an indistinct direction. Her demeanor includes Rihanna's illusion of edge, the promiscuous contents of Katy Perry's closet, and music that is softened by adding a vaguely whimsical background like that of Natasha Bedingfield. The girl's only unique quality seems to be that she is British, and for some, this makes Jessie J just one pop star too many.

Drownedinsound calls Jessie J's debut album Who You Are "dead-eyed pop with aspirations of being your comfort food but ends up being a starchy soulless slop". Point taken, but keep in mind that review accompanies a disgruntled opinion about pop music today as a whole, claiming: "Rather than try to shock and awe, 'Pop' has retreated into the not-so-distant past for inspiration, retching up fashions and dredging for synthetic sounds that didnt quite connect enough to be attached, ingrained and defined to any particular era".

It may not be completely fair to rest the frustration of an entire genre of music on one person, but for the sake of hilarity, here are some of our favorite quotes regarding the introduction of Jessie J into our musical roledex of twenty something pop divas.

More from Drowned In Sound:

"Its a cynical simulation of various shades of the modern pop rainbow. Who You Are is riddled with so-called vocal performances that are a half a step above an X Factor audition but thats what makes it 'genuine and 'fer-realies'".

This is followed with a fictional commentary of Jessie J's A&R director, which is worth reading for the endless slew of British slang alone, if not also what is probably a frighteningly accurate take on the inner workings of the pop factory.

Pitchfork sings a similar tune, claiming that it is "very ironic, then, that she titled the record Who You Are, because she does pretty much everything but assert a coherent identity over the course of 13 tracks". All hope for personality is not lost, however, for they discover that "Jessie J's persona seems most defined when she is being totally obnoxious". Delightful!

This is followed by the lowest of all lows: being classified as having less depth than Rebecca Black. "The lyrics of 'Friday' may be undeniably clunky, but there is a magic to them that makes the song funny and immensely quotable, like a lot of great pop songs throughout history. Jessie J's lyrics are no less banal and artless, but they lack charm entirely."

And there you have it. Better luck next time, girl!

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Jessie J on Myspace

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