Was This Review Helpful To You: 311 'Stereolithic'
    • FRIDAY, MARCH 21, 2014

    • Posted by: Matt Howard

    Receiving so many new albums in our snail- and e-mail inboxes every day, it's no surprise that we never get to the bottom of the mountainous pile; nobody's perfect. But we do try our damndest to review those that we truly enjoy and others that we know are percolating within the minds of our readers. There are, however, numerous that we just don't give a damn about, because we, like you, occasionally have the shallow tendency to judge an album by its cover and a pop star by his or her tabloid headlines. But fear not fans of the top-40! We found a new way to review these albums by letting you do all of the legwork! Instead of listening to albums we have zero interest in hearing, we'll be collecting the finest user reviews posted on Amazon by all of your peers.

    In this week's edition of 'Was This Review Helpful To You', we assessed your assessments of the latest album from stoner hip-hop ska-sters 311, Stereolithic. Attending 311 concerts has become an American right of passage for teens exploring new music and looking to buy some weed. And like pot, everybody's tried 311 at least once. Those of us who made this journey to a local arena to hear two white guys rap at each other getting "Down" know exactly how strange this band's faithful followers really are — they're a confused tight-knit community of former Blockbuster employees who now work at Spencer's ...it's like Phish fans but with 9-5 jobs and collections of felt black-light posters.

    Since its release on March 11th, 311 followers have contributed nearly 100 individual reviews of the album on Amazon, where it currently nears a 5-star average. These dudes love this shit. We didn't want to listen to the album in fear of the flashbacks of stoned nights playing WaveRace 64 in our basements that would undoubtedly come along with it, so we sorted through the best submitted by the fans...

    We can only hope he ends every phone conversation with "Positivity and Unity"...



    Even foreign guys who've lived just long enough in the United States to almost sound American love 311...



    Only a 311 fan would name her son Zeke...



    TempeCowboy, is that really you? I've been lying awake next to my CB radio waiting for your call...







    Willing to bet "Sick Tight;" is sewn into the face of Justin's chain wallet...



    With a name like uuugh, it sounds like you might be loving yourself a little too often...it's a chafing hazard...



    311 fans call it "cheezin'" because it's fon to due...

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