From the Festival Files...

The White Stripes' self-titled single from the upcoming Icky Thump is currently available on iTunes, having gone on sale today at 12:01 a.m. We really recommend you purchase the song, especially given the continued slump in music industry sales... but here's a free MP3 anyway. The song was played over XFM radio before iTunes got their hands on it, and you can get the radio rip at Web Vomit. Interesting instrumentation... recognizable riffs... some odd disjointed solos... Overall, we like it. "Icky" thumps in all the right places.

Of course, the folks at Rolling Stone are cooler than all of us. They were treated to a sneak preview of the entire album during a recent post-lunch afternoon lull. The magazine approves:

Icky Thump will be released stateside on June 19th, around the same time that the Raconteurs should be wrapping up the recording of their follow-up to last year's Broken Boy Soliders. Head to Pitchfork for a big picture of Thump's country-fried album art, and check out the band's website for their most recent tour accouncement. (Hint - it involves all ten of the Canadian provinces. Move over, Bryan Adams!) For assorted media goodies, check out the videos and audio bootlegs at WhiteStripes.net.

Thank you, God. After taking away that Ryan Adams gig at Stonehenge (which we're still kinda mad about it, honestly), you've really harnessed those heavenly powers to deliver something that's arguably much better - a Spinal Tap reunion. (Again). Awesome!

The mock-metal band hasn't released an album since 1992's Break Like The Wind (which, technically, was a reunion in and of itself), but Spinal Tap's three parodied rockers (played by Christopher Guest, Michael McKean, and Harry Shearer) are coming back together to fight global warming. They'll be playing the London installment of Live Earth, where they'll treat the crowd to old favorites ("Tonight I'm Gonna Rock You Tonight," "Cups and Cakes") and new offerings (such as the globally-conscious "Warmer than Hell"). Rob Reiner, the director the documentary This Is Spinal Tap, will also be on the scene.

No one seems to know who will be playing drums for the band, although we'd like to nominate Phil Collins (whose reunited Genesis will also be playing the event) for the job. Then again, if playing drums for Spinal Tap is a surefire means of spontaneously combustion, maybe co-headliner James Blunt should do it...

Reiner recently shot a 15-minute film dealing with Spinal Tap's reunion, during which Shearer's character is shown to be in rehab for addiction to the interet. Oh, the perils of post-'80s, modern-day life... The film premiers tonight at the opening of the Tribeca Film Festival. If you can't wait that long to get your fix of Spinal vids, check out Google Video's selection of clips from the band's 1992 reunion. It'll serve as a nice appetizer to the band's July 7th show.

The Cowboy Junkies are back this week with At The End Of Paths Taken, whose eleven songs were tracked in the same Toronto church that served as the band's first recording studio in 1986. "Going in [to the church] and plugging in and playing, it brought back a lot of memories," says singer Margot Timmins. "The amazing thing was we suddenly remembered, 'Oh my God, this church sounds so good.'" Margot's brother and chief songwriter, Michael, recently gave a track-by-track explanation to NME, and AllMusic.com gives the album a big thumbs up.

Dinosaur Jr. reunited in 2005, but the guitar-tastic band hasn't released anything new until this week. Beyond, which hits stores today, is the first album from the original lineup in nearly 20 years. J Mascis' signature leads are back, and tracks like "Almost Ready" revive the pre-grunge rock that the trio perfected in the '80s. Check out some selections at the band's Myspace page, or catch a show on their current tour... just remember to bring ear plugs. That Mascis boy is loud.

Black Rebel Motorcycle Club took a quiet approach to 2005's Howl, but upcoming release Baby 81 brings back the raw, rough-edged sound that made them an influence on the harder songs from U2's How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb. When you've pleased Bono, you know you're good... and the Black Rebels are certainly that. What's even better is the band's generosity, which they've flaunted by posting their entire album on Myspace. Way to kickstart our rock and roll hearts, Bikers.

Score 1 for Clear Channel! The radio monolith is trying a unique tactic in
Dallas, TX, where they’ve decided to cut all commercials from the KZPS station (92.5 FM if you’re in the area, and Lonestar925.com if you aren’t).
In place of the 12 to 16 minutes of commercial programming that traditionally occurs during an hour of radio broadcast, KZPS will hawk its advertisers in short, 2-minute spurts of “integration.”
Here’s the basic routine: the DJ will “promote the product conversationally,” slyly pushing such sponsors as Southwest Airlines and Coors Lite, and then the music will resume. Two minutes per
hour. No more inane jingles for local car dealerships. Quick, easy, and painless.

"It has been a dream of ours for some time but only now can we bring it you the way it was meant to be heard," reads a statement on the station's website. "Musically, we are like no other
station around AND we have broken the mold on radio commercials." J.D. Freeman, Dallas' market manager for Clear Channel, explains things further. “We got extraordinary support from corporate,”
he tells Radio and Records. “They completely insulated us and told us to break all the rules. So we broke them in programming, we broke
them in advertising, and we broke them on the Web.”

This move isn’t 100% new. Three Long Island stations recently tried the same thing under the ownership of Morey Organizations, but all three ultimately returned to traditional advertising.
The same thing happened in Boston. But if KZPS does succeed, it’ll be a big success for the Clear Channel company, which has been facing newfound competition in a modern world of
satellite radio and iPod-equipped vehicles. How long will it be until cars start receiving direct internet streams? How long will it be until cars starting coming with built-in iPods? Radio
stations used to compete with only tape-decks and CD players for the driver’s complete attention, but the rules of the game are rapidly changing. Kudos to them for figuring this out - and
for taking steps to circumvent the problem.

Taking away commercials might also increase the power of local DJs, who’ve seen their job security steadily
decrease as stations make way for pre-programmed playlists. With approximately 10 to 14 extra minutes of non-commercial programming per hour, stations should be able to give their
able-voiced spokespeople a little more time on the air. Of course, it's all speculation until KZPS put things into action. The station launched today, switching from its previous classic-rock
format to a Texas-flavored hybrid of country and Southern rock 'n' roll. Stream the station here.

The musical reel of coming attractions continues on this fine Friday morning. Check it out, and don't do anything we wouldn't do when the late afternoon rolls around...

Since the Arctic Monkeys' Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not is the fastest-selling debut in British history, there's a lot of anticipation surrounding the release of their follow-up. Sophomore effort Favourite Worst Nightmare will hit stores next week, and initial album reviews have been very positive. 4/5 stars from Mojo... 9/10 from NME... and lots of talk about things being harder, heavier, and faster. All in all, it's looking for good for those Sheffield boys with pockmarked skin and a mantle full of assorted awards. Check out a radio rip of lead-off single "Brianstorm" here, or YouTube it for the official video.


Also coming next week: Patti Smith's Twelve, featuring covers of songs by Tears for Fears, Nirvana, and Paul Simon. Random! But the Los Angeles Times digs it, calling the album "a bluesy, psychedelic witches' brew that feels like one long, complex incantation to keep us safe, to make us see there is indeed some kinda way out of here." Check out her coarse-throated take on "Gimme Shelter" at Smith's MySpace page.

So you like ABBA? Enjoy the Cardigans? Psshhhh. Why don't you check out Tio Bitar, the next psychedelic offering from Swedish rock outfit Dungen, to hear some truly native Swedish music? Although Dungen is mostly overseen by frontman/multi-instrumentalist Gustav Ejstes, Tio Bitar (translation: "ten pieces") also leans heavily on contributions for Ejstes longtime collaborator and lead guitarist, Reine Fiske. The guitar riffs are raw and fuzzy, almost as if the instrument itself dropped a tab of acid and tripped back to the Hendrix-helmed heyday of psych rock. Check out an interview with Fiske at Stereogum, followed by two of the best tracks from the upcoming album (set to hit U.S. shores/stores on May 15th).

Also, Maroon 5 will release an album in May. It will be funky. It'll probably be played on the radio. It'll be called It Won't Be Soon Before Long. Somewhere, a middle-schooler who thinks Adam Levine is soooooo hot!! is actually caring about this.

Lots of music coming out in the coming weeks, which means it's probably time to do some spring cleaning of your iPod and make room for some of the season's upcoming releases. To help you out, here's the first installment of Baeble's Spring/Summer Preview:

Queens of the Stone Age's upcoming Era Vulgaris is slated for a release in early June, where it will usher in the summer with aural tons of heavy riffage. The band's fifth record will also feature cameos by Julian Casablancas, Trent Reznor, Mark Lanegan, and Billy Gibbons from ZZ Top. That's a curious lineup, but hey - it seems to work. Want proof? Check out QOTSA's website for a streaming preview of the song "3's & 7's."

It's been more than three years since SoCal pop-rockers Rooney first captured the hearts of impressionable young women with their self-titled debut. After scrapping the results of several attempted follow-ups, the guys are back - for real this time - with Calling The World. They may be wearing their '70s influences a little too prominently this time around, but is that really so bad when such influences include The Raspberries, The Cars, Badfinger, and early Tom Petty? And will those impressionable young girls still tape Rooney photospreads to the metallic insides of their high-school lockers? Check out new tune "Where Did Your Heart Go Missing" and judge for yourself.

Cake is going the distance; Cake is going for speed. Cake wants a girl with a short skirt and a long jacket. Cake also wants to continue releasing albums, hence the band's upcoming B-Sides And Rarities disc. This actually looks pretty cool, though. The album art is a "scratch and sniff" card, which is just plain excellent, and the tracklisting includes covers of Sabbath's "War Pigs" (also covered by anybody with Guitar Hero II) and Barry White's "Never, Never Gonna Give You Up." What's better, you can listen to every track.

• On 1991's Achtung Baby, Bono and The Edge shared vocal duties on a song called "The Fly." Now, in 2007, they'll share songwriting duties to pen theatrical ditties about eating flies... or at least about the animals who (normally) eat them. Word on the street is that the two U2 members have been elisted to work on a musical adaptation of Spider-Man. The show will be directed by Julie Taymor - the Tony-winning force behind The Lion King - and all music/lyrics will be composed by the aforementioned Dublin duo. Rehearsals begin in July, just two months after Spider-Man 3 hits theaters. Cool... right?

• Give in to your guilty pleasures and check out the new Kelly Clarkson song, "Never Again," on her MySpace page. "I hope when you're in bed with her, you think of me," is perhaps the most provocative line we've heard from an Idol star yet.

• Rufus Wainwright has been steadily releasing bits 'n' pieces of his upcoming Release the Stars, and Stereogum is now streaming a YouTube video of Wainwright's new single. "Going To A Town." It's understated and fairly minimalist... which means the album is going to be that much more impressive when Wainwright chooses to fully unleash those giant harmonies and orchestral strains.

• While you're spending time at Stereogum, head to the main site and scroll down to the Ryan Adams posting. Our lovable hipster hillbilly recently went on The Henry Rollins show to preview some new material, and Stereogum points us to the streaming video at IFC. It sounds great! And kudos to Adams for picking Neal Casal as his lead guitarist.

• This may not be the proper forum for mourning and remembrance, but Baeble would like to show our support for all those affected by this week's events at Virginia Tech. It's a beautiful school with solid programs and an intensely loyal student population. No one should have to go through such trouble, and we'll be having Virginia on our minds (and in our thoughts) for quite some time.

So we're down to seven contestants, at least until tomorrow rolls around and Sanjaya is (hopefully) kicked off the show. That being said, here's the rundown on who's left:

• Phil. He's bald and has large eyes, but he's technically the best male vocalist in this competition. He also has the widest range of anyone this season. Unfortunately, the judges really don't want Phil to go on much further. Take tonight, for example, when Simon complimented Phil and then squashed the contestant's smiles with the wry line, "I don't know if tonight is gonna save you." It's like blowing up a balloon for a toddler, only to pop it in the kid's face. It's worth noting, however, that Phil apparently wants to be a country singer - at least that's what he said tonight - but we haven't heard any twang apart from this evening's performance. What kind of star does he want to be? Probably whatever kind of star will help him win this show...

• Jordin. She's young, adorable, and everybody seems to like her. Jordin may be a little awkward when she's talking to (errr... more like towering over) Seacrest during the results portion, but she's a total pro once she takes the mic. And she's only seventeen! And she ended tonight's performance with a killer money note! But can someone so young handle the pressure of being a media icon? Jordin's almost too sweet for Hollywood.

• Sanjaya. Ok, we get it. He's interesting and he gets people to watch the show. Oh yeah, and little girls like him. But the ability to generate headlines about your hairstyles doesn't translate into an ability to actually sing your butt off. Sanjaya's got a nice recording voice, but he lacks the charisma needed to sell a performance. Your time might be up this week, Sanjaya. At least it should be.

• LaKisha. She's powerful, she's nice, and she's doing all of this Idol stuff to benefit her little daughter. Awwwww. But really, LaKisha fell flat this week. Is she a one-trick pony, only able to flourish in the gospel and slow R&B genres? And if so, did she peak too early when she did the Dreamgirls tune earlier this season? LaKisha might be losing her momentum fast, even though she can sing most of those contestants under the table.

• Chris Richardson. One Chris went home; the other is still on the show. Dude knows how to stage a performance, and he always has a musician or two straddling the stage with him. It keeps things lively-looking. His nasal voice doesn't carry well across all genres, though, and Simon knows it. If Chris can safely get back to pop-only territory, he could be fine for another few weeks. But if the judges keep staging things like "country night," the Timberlake routine won't get Chris much further.

• Melinda. Oooh, hair extensions. Melinda looked much edgier tonight, and she channeled a little Tina Turner with her performance. It's a nice change from someone whose professionalism gets a little tedious at times, almost as if Melinda is too polished for her own good. She'll be in the top two, no doubt. Either she'll be battling LaKisha for the crown, or she'll have to go up against...

• Blake! We used to hate him, but now he's kinda grown on us. He obviously knows the kind of popstar he wants to be, from his fashion style down to his percussive additions to each song. Randy noted it tonight, saying "I love that you know who you are." He might not be the best singer, but he's arguably the best performer there. Expect big things from this one, so long as he doesn't pull out that stupid hillbilly imitation again. Once that thing resurfaces, he's dead to us. Dead.

This just in: Led Zeppelin’s Stairway to Heaven is exactly 150-feet tall. It is also made of steel… and it’s located in the rock-tastic metropolis of Myrtle Beach, South Carolina.

The “Stairway” in question is actually a theme-park roller coaster; more specifically, it’s the latest addition to the Hard Rock Cafe’s massive amusement park. Slated to open in spring 2008, the 140-acre Hard Rock Park is the “single largest tourism investment in South Carolina’s history.” That's press-release jargon for really expensive, as this tourism investment is currently running a tab of $400 million. Equal parts amusement park (rides, amphitheaters, play areas, etc.) interactive museum (including exhibitions on the British Invasion and '70s rock), and bizarre musical sideshow (a stunt show devoted to roadies?! a country themed ice show?!), Hard Rock will also boast an “ultra-modern sound system specifically developed for the project, creating a totally immersive full day experience.” Even so, perhaps the park's greatest feature is Mount Rockmore, a 250-ton sand sculture that reinterprets Mount Rushmore. Instead of featuring the faces of U.S. presidents, Rockmore bears the likenesses of Jimi Hendrix, John Lennon, Bob Marley, and Elvis Presley.

Cool.

Not much else is known about the Zeppelin ride, but park developers are working with the surviving members of the band to determine the ride’s logo, structure, and shape of the vehicles (blimps, anyone?). “Whole Lotta Love” has already been selected as the coaster’s theme song, which will orchestrate the ride via those aforementioned “ultra-modern” speakers. The orchestrated ride will be similar to Aerosmith’s coaster at Disney-MGM Studios in Florida… only with a very long drum solo and slightly higher vocals. Other rides include the Magic Mushroom Garden (described as "the world's largest black light poster," whatever that's supposed to mean), Reggae River Falls, and the Muddin' Monster Race (which seems to involve a car ride and lots of Woodstock-evoking mud).

Cool.

• What do Jerry Garcia, Trey Anastasio, Dave Matthews, Willie Nelson, and Freddie Mercury all have in common? The answer: sugar, cream, and assorted sweet-toothed toppings. Ben and Jerry's has released its latest ice cream flavor inspired by a rock band: Bohemian Raspberry (a tribute, of course, to Queen). Band member Brian May apparently enjoys the blend of vanilla, fudge brownies, and raspberry swirls, stating: "It's Queentastic! Rhapsolicious! So cool it's not funny! But only if the next one is 'We Will Chock You'!" Sounds like the guitarist thinks the flavor is magnificoooooooo...

Some other possibilities for Queen-inspired desserts :
- "Another One Bites The Crust" applie pie
- "(Eat this and you will become a) Fat Bottomed Girl" poundcake
- Killer Cream (this dish would consist of whipped cream with lots of trans fat)

• BUMMER. Ryan Adams' upcoming gig at Stonehenge has been cancelled due to its overwhelming popularity. "We are very sorry that Ryan Adams will not be able to perform at Stonehenge," explained Stonehenge diretor Peter Carson, "but the demand for tickets was both unprecedented and unforeseen, and we have to put public safety first." First of all, being the director of Stonehenge is not your everyday job, and we applaud Carson for even entertaining the idea that Ryan Adams should rock those ancient Druidic rocks. And second - bummer. Just... just bummer.

• On this day in music:
1997: The Notorious B.I.G. hits the top of the U.S. charts with Life After Death
1980: The musical Grease closed after nearly 4,000 performances on Broadway, having grossed over $8 million in the process.
1971:: The Rolling Stones launched their own label, Rolling Stones Records, with the release of Brown Sugar. This also launched the now-famous tongue-and-lips logo.
1965:: The Beatles recorded the single "Help" at Abbey Road in London.

We try to be fair to all festivals, but Perry Farrell's Lollapalooza seems to have an edge on this year's competition. Over 140 bands will bring the rock to the Windy City in August, just one month after the Pitchfork Music Festival attempts to the same (albeit on a much smaller scale). Lollapalooza 2007's list o' bands wasn't supposed to be announced until tomorrow, but you know how these things work. The festival published an ad in a random Wisconsin paper... an early issue of that paper was released in several locations... Rolling Stone got ahold of a copy... and then POOF, the list is all over the internet, and then there's no mystery left. But to hell with mystery; just check out this lineup:

Pearl Jam, Daft Punk, Muse, Iggy & The Stooges, Interpol, Modest Mouse, My Morning Jacket, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Snow Patrol, The Roots, Patti Smith, Kings of Leon, Spoon, Regina Spektor, The Black Keys, TV On The Radio, Pete Yorn, LCD Soundsystem, Amy Winehouse, Clap Your Hands Say Yeah, Silverchair, Jack's Mannequin, Hold Steady, Sean Lennon, !!!, Yo La Tengo, Motion City Soundtrack, Tapes 'N Tapes, The View, Cold War Kids, Annuals, Electric Six, Peter Bjorn & John, Silversun Pickups, and a whole. lot. more.

On a quick side note, the grown-up boys in Silverchair are making a tidal-waved splash in their Australian homeland, having just released an album that debuted at #1 on the Aria charts - just as the band's four previous efforts have done. They're also the first Aussie band in over 40 years to achieve three #1 singles. And finally, Silverchair's new album (Young Modern) went platinum within its first week of sales. Lead-off single "Straight Lines" is a little too Coldplay(-ed out) for someone as prolific and downright weird as frontman Daniel Johns, but the tune is making some serious thunder down under. So... umm... stop making jokes about 1995's Frogstomp, America.

Anyway, here are the Lollapalooza details: Tickets are $165 at the festival's website, and they'll cover you for the entirety of the Aug. 3-5th event at Chicago's Grant Park. Prices will jump up by $30 in the coming weeks, so get those tix early and "let the feasting on organic vegan burritos while rocking out begin" (clever quip, Rolling Stone).

We all need to read more. Our brains are turning to mush. With that said, here's a quick run-down of some of our favorite music-related books.

Revolutions on Canvas: Rich Balling, former trombonist for ska-punk group Rx Bandits, is the editor of this poetry/prose series. There are two Canvas volumes, both of which feature narratives and assorted poetic musings from a slew of indie band members. The list of contributors tends to skew toward the indie realm, and the writings often look like discarded lyrics from the bands’ B-sides. Still, Balling manages to elicit some good stuff from a number of writers, and omnipresent headline-grabber Pete Wentz even contributes a surprisingly solid account of loveless love-making in Vol. 2. Middle-school teachers could use this stuff to inspire their students to read poetry, but they should censor the selections beforehand.

High Fidelity: Every record collector should own this book. Actually, nevermind – every human being should own this book. Nick Hornby’s tale of love and audiophilia has been adapted by both Hollywood and Broadway, but it’s still strongest in its original form. The writing is solid, the jokes are funny, the characters are authentic, and the music references are apt and well-placed. It takes a true music fan to write fiction this believable, and Horby must’ve bled himself silly to give such life to such a book.

The Dirt: Confessions of the World's Most Notorious Rock Band: The members of Motley Crue team up with New York Times music writer Neill Strauss to catalogue their past debaucheries, from Nikki Sixx’s rising from the dead (after a supposedly fatal overdose) to the band’s mid-‘80s tour with Ozzy Osbourne. Each band member contributes separate entries that are entirely too well-written to be the work of former drunk addicts, so we suspect Neill Strauss rewrote a lot of this material. Still, it feels awesomely voyeuristic to read about this band’s glammy heyday, regardless of whether or not you like the music.

So You Wanna Be a Rock & Roll Star: How I Machine-Gunned a Roomful Of Record Executives and Other True Tales from a Drummer's Life: As the drummer for '90s semi-stars Semisonic, Jacob Slichter knows a thing or two about the music business. Rock & Roll Star tells the story of Semisonic's career, from their roots in Minnesota to their brief fling with fame (ultimately launched by the hit "Closing Time"... and ultimately killed by the absence of a follow-up hit). Slichter's book benefits from the fact that his band couldn't sustain a chart-topping career, since his bittersweet tone and "to hell with it" attitude exposes the payola-obsessed business in clear, simple terms.

Good news for Live Earth! Al Gore's 24-hour, seven-continent concert project has finally found a home for its U.S. installment, with New Jersey's Giants Staidum agreeing to host the massive gig. An official U.S. lineup has also been released, and the artists are (in alphabetical order): AFI, Akon, Alicia Keys, Dave Matthews Band, Fall Out Boy, John Mayer, Kayne West, Kelly Clarkson, KT Tunstall, Ludacris, Melissa Etheridge, Rihanna, Roger Waters, Smashing Pumpkins, and The Police.

The official lineup for London's show has also been announced, and Wembley Stadium is now set to host the following artists: Beastie Boys, Black Eyed Peas, Bloc Party, Corinne Bailey Rae, Damien Rice, David Gray, Duran Duran, Foo Fighters, Genesis, James Blunt, John Legend, Keane, Madonna, Paolo Nutini, Razorlight, Red Hot Chili Peppers, and Snow Patrol. No word on the other continents' lineups yet, but the host cities are Rio de Janeiro (Brazil), Maropeng (South Africa), Tokyo (Japan), Shanghai (China), and Sydney (Australia).

The U.S. show will be the last installment of July 7th's concert mania, which is set to begin in Sydney. “Capping Live Earth with a blockbuster show like this will ensure we meet our challenge of building a mass audience to combat global warming,” says executive producer Kevin Wall. “Live Earth will be a monumental event both in terms of entertainment and in turning the tide against global warming.” Former "next president" Al Gore, co-chair and political muscle of Live Earth, clarifies the concert's mission: “Live Earth will help us reach a tipping point that’s needed to move corporations and governments to take decisive action to solve the climate crisis.”

Tickets to the Giants Stadium show go on sale next Monday, April 16th, at 10 a.m. Visit Live Nation or call Ticketmaster at 212-307-7171. Getting a spot at Wembley Stadium is a little more complicated, by MSN explains that process here.

So if Jesus died on Good Friday, rose from the dead on Easter Sunday, and headed back to heaven on Ascension Thursday, what did he do on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday? Hang out with the 'rents? Track down the disciples? Multiply some more fish, just for the fun of it? Just something to consider on this Monday afternoon...

• We've talked about Rolling Stone journalist David Fricke before, and we're proud to say that he's given the thumbs up to another one of Baeble's treasured bands - Tall Firs. In the latest installment of "Fricke's Picks," he writes: "The Brooklyn trio’s debut album, Tall Firs (Ecstatic Peace), is ... like Sonic Youth’s Daydream Nation reduced to nothing but daydream. There are flashes of Pavement’s ragged acid romanticism in bare-minimum space-outs like “Go Whiskey,” “The Breeze” and “Soldier On,” but also plenty of the genuine San Francisco article, particularly the ‘67 levitation of Jefferson Airplane’s “Comin’ Back to Me” and the compact sparkle of the Grateful Dead’s original seven-inch version of “Dark Star.”"

Woa! Crazy descriptions! David Fricke puts our writing to shame, and we love him for it. You can check out some of Tall Firs' "compact sparkle," including several live cuts and a nifty little video shot by yours truly (ahem), at the band's humble website. If you want to hear some first-person accounts of being a Tall Fir, check out the band's tour diary at Ecstatic Peace.

• Is that an illustration of Jon Bon Jovi to your right? Not really - it's a Bon Jovi doll, which is set to hit stores alongside a similar Richie Sambora doll in August. McFarlane Toys is responsible for these toy replicas, with CEO Todd McFarlane stating, "We look forward to reproducing the likeness of Jon and Richie and bringing them to the fans." We suppose that's somewhat admirable, or something, but what's the difference between a post-"Blaze of Glory" Jovi and a Ken doll with a toy guitar strapped to its frame? And hey, what's the deal with drummer Tico Torres totally getting robbed?

These are like KISS dolls for the teenybopper/soccer-mom set. Check out more pictures at Spawn.com.

• The Beatles' Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band is set to enjoy its 40th year anniversary this summer, and several bands have teamed up to cover the album's tracks in commemoration. The same recording equipment will be used, as well as the same recording engineer (Geoff Emerick). Pitchfork gives us some details: "Roughly half of the bands have been announced so far: Oasis (no sh*t!), the Killers (erm, okay), Kaiser Chiefs, Travis (...getting colder), James Morrison, the Fratellis and Razorlight. Durr!"

So if a documentary on rock music is called a rockumentary, what do you call a documentary on punk music? Punkumentary? Docupunkery? We’re not really sure, but that’s not stopping two 22 year-old Aussie filmmakers from creating a feature-length documentary on the punk-rock explosion of the early ‘90s. One Nine Nine Four will be the first film from Robert Academy Films, an indie production company that opened shop in November 2006. The movie is scheduled a 2008 release, and will likely make its debut at a number of festivals before landing any sort of major-studio deal.

Despite the Academy’s young age, the two members (Jai Al-Attas and Matt Wardle) have managed to land interviews with some high-ranking punk rockers, including members of Rancid, Bad Religion, Goldfinger, Unwritten Law, The Offspring, Green Day, NOFX, and blink-182. They’ve also tracked down label personnel, tour managers, booking agents, and others involved in “the birth, growth and eventual tipping point of punk rock during 90's.” Skateboarder Tony Hawk will narrate. (Trivia: Hawk made his film debut in Gleaming the Cube, the 1989 flick featuring Christian Slater as a skateboarder out to avenge the death of his adopted brother, who just so happens to have been killed by the gangster father of said brother’s girlfriend. It’s awesome.)

So why are two kids from Australia making a movie based on a slew of tattooed SoCal rockers? Al-Attas gives the answer on his MySpace blog: he made it because no one else has. “I wanted to see a film on this particular scene,” he writes. “There are a lot of documentaries on punk but none of them have focused only on the 90's. I have no idea why? It was one of the - if not the most - successful periods in the history of punk rock! And please don't start a “what is punk” argument with me because it is irrelevant and you would be missing the point of the whole film and era.” Later, he adds “If people ask me how i envision the film i like to say kinda like Dogtown and Z Boys but with the bands in place of the skaters.”

Not capitalizing your I’s, Mr. Al-Attas? You’re so punk rock.

There's a new festival coming to a town near you... assuming you live somewhere near the rural confines of Pryor, Oklahoma (population 8,659). The tiny town may not be known for its rock 'n' roll history, but it's about to get a big ol' dose of metal mania. A spandex-clad, eyeliner-wearin', grunge-resenting dose. That's right - Pryor is about to play host to Rocklahoma.

This is the festival's inaugural year, but the lineup pretty much explains what Rocklahoma is all about. Bands like Quiet Riot, Poison, Winger, Dokken, Warrant, Slaughter, Slaughter, Steelheart, and Ratt are dotting the bill, which looks like something from an '80s time capsule. Rolling Stone recently reported on the concert, noting that "its calling card seems to be bands that many of us haven't listened to (in public) since the early 90s."

The event can hold up to 50,000 metalheads/attendees, and tickets are currently on sale for the July 13th-15th dates. If you get 'em now, they're $30 for a single day, $70 for the whole package. After April 9th, however, you'll have to shell out a bit more cash to catch Vince Neil's solo act and Great White's pyro-free stageshow. Keep in mind that this is the same weekend as Pitchfork's festival, even though the typical audience of one of these hair-metal acts probably wouldn't be caught dead listening to a Cat Power album.

BONUS: Rocklahoma will feature the largest single stage in all of Oklahoma and Texas. Oh boy! Maybe Mr. Neil can do some jogging to work off his post-Motley Crue chubbiness.

On March 22nd, Eric Clapton announced the 2007 Crossroads Guitar Festival.

On March 31st (at 10 a.m.), tickets went on sale.

On March 31st (at 10:08 a.m.), the show was sold out.

Suffice it to say that Clapton's festival is pretty popular, and the 2007 installment (the second Crossroads festival overall) is looking promising. The event is scheduled for Toyota Park in Chicago, where 28,000 lucky ticket holders will enjoy performances from a roster of ax-slingers on July 28th. The current list includes Jeff Beck, Sheryl Crow, Vince Gill, Buddy Guy, BB King, Los Lobos, John Mayer, Robert Randolph, Derek Trucks, Steve Winwood, and Alison Krauss and Union Station.

Tickets are hard to come by at this point, but don't think about selling your soul to the devil just yet. eBay has a few pricey auctions to check out, and ads have been popping up on Craigslist in various cities. You can also go to RazorGator.com and shell out as much as $800 for a pass, but selling your soul might be the better option at that point.

Proceeds from the all-day event will go toward the Crossroads Centre, a drug treatment facility (or, as the website states, "An International Centre of Excellence for the treatment of alcohol, drugs and other addictive disorders") that Clapton helped found in 1998. The guitarist has been very vocal about his increased output since leaving drinks and drugs behind, and recently told the Associated Press that the need for such an operation is especially strong right now. "I think it's suffered a little bit in some of the recent publicity with the celebrities who go there," Clapton stated. "It's a bit of a witch hunt going on in some of the news channels about rehabs in general. It's a little scary because... the last thing we want is to lose any of the rehabs."

Yes sir, we're still watching this show. And if you've already bailed, we've got your Tuesday night rundown right here. Here's all you need to know about the nine remaining contestants:

• Blake is the front runner for the males, assuming you believe everything Simon says. He does NOT have the strongest voice amongst the four remaining guys, and Tony Bennett (tonight's guest judge) seemed to realize this. But Blake knows how to play his cards right, and he wisely replaced his beatboxing skills with some jazzy scatting during the performance.

• Phil probably has a better voice than Blake, but the judges want him gone. According to Simon, the dude just can't do anything right. We do agree that tonight's song choice was a little odd, and the arrangement did nothing to bolster Phil's tenor voice. But if you're gonna praise Blake's musical skills, then you really should glorify this shiny-headed rockstar.

• Melinda is a vocal powerhouse trapped in the body of an oompa loompa. She has one of the best voices here - if not the best - and we'll boycott reality TV if she doesn't make it to the Top Two. That being said, we wish she would move around more when she sings, since the soprano only shuffled around a 4-foot box during tonight's scorching rendition of "I Got Rhythm."

• Chris Richardson was originally something of a Timberlake copycat, but he's quickly becoming better and more unique. Dude rocked it tonight, what with those long vocals runs and everything. He should be in the Top Four, but we'll have to see if the audience puts him back in the bottom three like they did several weeks ago. Silly audience.

• Jordin is the best 17 year-old singer we've heard since... since, like, some really good current singer was 17 years old. So there.

• Sanjaya is the best semi-talented, semi-funny, awkward-to-watch, odd-hair-styled singer we've heard since... well, we can't really think of anyone to compare Sanjaya to. He shouldn't have trimmed his hair, though. Hasn't he read the Bible? Didn't he see what happened to Samson?

• Oh Haley. You endure so many sexual comments from Simon. God bless you. You're also pretty. God bless you for that, too. But you still might get voted off tomorrow.

• LaKisha's voice is the sonic personification of power. Get ready for an epic battle between her and LaKisha. "When Divas Attack." It's gonna be awesome.

Oh man. This is just terrible.

As reported by the New York Post, three New York City schoolteachers were busted for smoking marijuana outside the Beacon Theatre before a recent Allman Brothers Band concert. The Post printed pictures of the culprits, all of whom teach at Manhattan's Urban Assembly Media High School. The punishment for possession, other than public humiliation via the tabloids? "A spokeswoman for the Department of Education said the pothead pedagogues would be tied to the "Whipping Post" by being reassigned pending a department hearing," says the newspaper article. Har har har.

Several questions arise from this unfortunate occurence. First, why did the cops arrest someone at an Allman Brothers concert? The Allman audience is dominated by peace-loving hippie folk, not angry fans waiting to thrash about the mosh pit... Anyway, second - and most importantly - why in the world did those schoolteachers choose to do this outside the venue? Whenever the Allman Bros pull into town for a multi-night residency, it's hippie heaven inside the Beacon Theatre. One whiff of the air inside the venue would probably do the trick.

Man, what are they teaching these kids nowadays?


Some YouTube goodness to brighten the somber mood:

Whipping Post, 3/31/07 at Beacon Theatre. Kudos go to whomever wrote the YouTube description for this video ("Derek dazzles, destroys and deploys doom during tonights encore"). Sounds like you really enjoyed yourself at that show, Mr./Mrs. Writer. Perhaps you were hanging outside with those schoolteachers, too, but made a break for it when the cops showed? Hmmmm?

Sweet Melissa, live (and awesome).

Duane Allman jamming with Eric Clapton.

Guitar solo from Derek Trucks, during a live performance of "Desdemona."