superbowl breakdown
  • FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 04, 2011

  • Posted by: Matt Howard

We may not be a sports editorial, and I may be a member of the Eagles' brood, but it's difficult not to recognize Super Bowl XLV as one of the more admirable matchups, in recent NFL history. Considering the fact that we cover indie music, we'll take a look at the upcoming bout, between the Green Bay Packers and the Pittsburgh Steelers, without studying any athletic dynamics (and discussing the team's theme songs).

According to the numbers, the Packers and Steelers were two of the NFL's defensive powerhouses. Clay Matthews's and Troy Polamalu's flowing, rock star locks got them this far. The epic battle between Slash and Axl has hit the field. These two players, out of USC, have made the ponytail tough once again. "Dont mess with that dude, he's got a scrunchie," will be a recognizable phrase, at bars everywhere. Urlacher better stock up on Rogaine.

An additional grudge match is between the adversaries' quarterbacks. Aaron Rodgers, the redheaded stepchild of Brett Favre, is making his Super Bowl debut. "Big Ben" Rothlisberger is aiming for his third title in his past six seasons. Benny was the admirable individual who taught us all that with a motorcycle and some big rings, no always means yes.

In addition to the "humorous" commercials, there's another feature of Super Bowl Sunday that provides girlfriends everywhere with the excuse of claiming couch space. This is the Halftime Show. Better known as the time when old beer is flushed and the table-side cooler is replenished. Other than the occasional wardrobe malfunction, we are typically shown decrepit rock stars of the past. The Who looked like crippled California Raisins. "I got a feelin'" that this year's act won't be an improvement. The Black Eyed Peas will be performing this year at Cowboys Stadium. Accompanied by babbling nonsense, Fergie will shimmy, garbed in something tight and leather, forcing teenage boys into puberty throughout the country.

Although he missed his home team, the New Orleans Saints', Super Bowl appearance last season due to his incarceration, Lil Wayne, a self-proclaimed Green Bay enthusiast, has hopped on the Packers' bandwagon. In response to Wiz Khalifa's Steeler anthem, "Black and Yellow", Wayne has seized the beat and written his own hail to the Cheese-Head, "Green and Yellow".

The war between these two, well-deserved contenders will surely overshadow the media hype surrounding the championship. But until Sunday, this ridiculous entertainment will suffice.

Listen Lil Wayne's "Green and Yellow" and Wiz Khalifa's "Black and Yellow", and you decide who wins.




[Ed. Note: Speaking of ridiculous entertainment, no Superbowl talk is complete with the original rap: the infamous shuffle of the 1985 Bears. It's worth noting that despite the song they went on to trounce the Patriots, 45-10.]



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