Nine Music Genres We Wish Existed
  • TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 03, 2015

  • Posted by: Emily Daly

From Acoustic to Zydeco, there are already scores of music genres and subgenres. But music is constantly evolving, and there's always room for more styles to be created. Here's some genres that don't exist, but should:


Tubstep
A subgenre of Dubstep characterized by its use of bubbly sound effects and echoey reverb from recording in bathrooms. That's what makes it authentic Tubstep.


Escalator Music
Standing on the right, or passing on the left? Either way, this genre will get you through those dreary escalator commutes.


Experimental Emo Ska
The first instance of this genre is thought to be when Magic! frontman Nasri was heckled during a performance and suffered a nervous breakdown, collapsing onstage and sobbing "Why... why they gotta be so rude" for 30 minutes straight.


Disc-lo-Fi
Disco music that's recorded from outside the club it's playing in, giving it that gritty, authentic quality.

Rap Bop
Legend has it Rap Bop was created by Kanye West. After he bought Charlie Parker's saxophone at an auction but was unable to play it without a mouthpiece, he recorded himself yelling some of his favorite lyrics like "You know what the Midwest is?" and "Somebody ordered pancakes" into the horn.


Al-Tay-Native Swiftstep
After copyrighting her lyrics, Taylor Swift is more determined than ever to keep other artists' hands off her brand. So she created her own trademarked music genre, Al-tay-native Swiftstep. Rumor has it she's also creating her own music streaming service, Swiftify, and is working with the Mayor of New York City to get her apartment its own borough, Swiftville.


Pop-pop
There are so many variations on pop music, but nothing is as poppy as Pop-pop. It's like microwaving six bags of popcorn at once while balloons burst in your kitchen.


Moztown
The soothing sounds of classical Mozart mixed with the soulful singing of Motown music.


Easy Math
Easy Listening meets Math Rock. This is one equation everyone can solve.
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